three-some advice...
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three-some advice...
| Wed, 07-14-2004 - 12:30am |
my boyfriend had recently asked me if maybe we could have a threesome with another girl. ive been thinking about it and i still dont know. i know ive read a lot of what other people have said about the subject. like how we have to make sure we are in a comfortable relatiionship and jealousy issues and stuff. i completely understand that. like, i feel like i could do it till i see him doing something to her and then after that im all no i dont want to do it anymore. we have a VERY comfortable and trusting realtionship. we've been doing the long-distance relationship for about a year now b/c ive been in school and he was at home. and that has worked out okay. we see each other like every month. and now we are back in one spot. i think me being away had made our relationship way stronger. i know it is one of his fanatsies and i would like to do anything he wants me to do but i just dont think i could see him having sex with another girl in front of me. if he wanted me to get with another girl in front of him i would do it. i guess i do have some jealousy there. i guess im just asking for some advice on this. like should i sit down and talk to him about it and stuff? anyways, any advice will be appriciated.
OH YEAH, and those of you who have had a threesome and were in my situation maybe you can tell me a little something about. even if you werent in my position maybe you can still give me some advice to how things went.
thanks, Crystal

2-If YOU don't feel comfortable with the idea of 3-some, DON'T DO IT.
3-Talk with your guy over a cup of coffee & REALLY discuss the matter. Ask WHY he wants it so much...
4-JEALOUSY can ruin a good relationship; be careful. Also, one sex partner comparing sexual performance with the new member of the relationship...
Good Luck & keep us posted. Mac
thanks for the advice, you know..i didnt even think about the STD thing! thanks for that. i think one reason why i dont want to do it is b/c like you said i dont want him to start comparing me to her. but i think i am going to talk to him about it and see what he thinks. and thanks again, ill keep ya'll posted!!!
Crystal
1. Either person is allowed to call a halt to the activities if it's not feeling right at any point during the threesome, no questions asked. Both parties need to withdraw, not just one. So if you aren't feeling right, he can't just go on without you and vice versa.
2. If you do try it and decide it isn't for you, he is not to pressure you into another threesome. He will have to accept that it was a one shot deal.
3. Be clear about how much activity you are comfortable with having him to do her and her do to him. For example, she can stimulate him manually but not orally and he can not penetrate her vaginally or anally. KWIM?
4. Perhaps you may want to find a counselor in advance, so should any feelings arise afterwards that need to be addressed you two can have someone help you sort them out.
I'm tired, and that's all I can think of for now. Just be sure it's what you want, and be safe.
Leticia
I don't think it's ever a good idea to invite another person into your bed just to satisfy the fantasy of your partner. IF you're uncomfortable with the thought NOW, it won't be any better afterwards, for certain.
What happens if he wants to make this a regular practice? Can you deal with that?
I agree with what the other posters have said.
BUT having done it- i wouldn't recommend it...it wast the beginning of the end of that relationship...it was just something that once we did- our regular sex life just couldn't go back to normal....
i would say IF you were in a more casual relationship and the idea came up, and you were totally into it- and the 3rd person was totally safe and everyone agreed on the ground rules (i think leticia already posted about that...GREAT idea!) then maybe do it...BUT if you're in a great solid relationship i wouldn't risk it....tooo many people do it then regret it later, why risk your relationship!
Crystal