Threesome

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Threesome
66
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 11:05am
Hubby and I had a threesome(our fourth) with a man a month ago who was incredible in bed, and who was well equipped. Unlike all of the other threesomes(two were FMF), he is a man that my husband works with. We socialize with him often, and he's unattached(has been for almost two years), and he's sexy as all hell! I find myself thinking and fantasizing about him all of the time, wanting to have more sex with him, and I believe that I'm emotionally involved to some extent. He was over yesterday for the holiday, and at one point he looked at me and said we have to "get together" real soon, and then he winked. Has anyone else ever gotten so attached over the third-person in a threesome? If so, how did you proceed?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:07pm
You will also hear those who have had them use words to describe threesomes as the best or the ultimate in pleasure, not just me. Since that's the case in most instances, then logic only follows that all other sex would seem trite in comparison. Like being rich for a day and then having to go back to your poor existence.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:10pm
Well I guess what you will do is ultimately up to you and only you. It seems like what we say hasn't helped you any anyways. I think though that you two need to get everything out in the open and go from there. If your sex life with just your husband seems to swarf in comparison then maybe that is NOT the life for you. That's not fair to him. What if he doesn't feel for any of the other women the way you feel for Mr. Hotstuff? Is that fiar to him? Like I said, get all your feelings and his out in the open and go from there if you feel like it is an issue. If you don't really care, then drop it. Simpley put, end of story.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:18pm
Oddly enough, after I posted my query, on another board, a woman who engages in them often used the word *stunning* and said they are the best sex she's ever had. You often hear words similar used when describing a threesome, so I'm not alone and I would have to accept that others feel the same - that it dwarfs in comparison to regular one on one sex, for obvious reasons. I'd guess it's that I had not expected to meet someone so perfect!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:23pm
"I'm not in love with him, I just like him. What am I suppose to hate or dislike those whom we choose to have sex with"?

You are wildly attracted to this man and that will lead to problems in your marriage. Sexual and otherwise. Most people who are married and are attracted to the opposite sex, we don't make love to them! Threesomes need to be neutral and that is a hard combination to find because someone is bound to be attracted to someone! But having it neutral is key!

"Nah....and I haven't told my hubby because I don't want to hurt him".

Exactly! It WOULD hurt him so why keep the action going with this other man? This other man knows you are married and that you are horny for him. Why wouldn't he want to have intercourse with you? He's a man, ain't he? He will only screw you and be done with you - maybe a few times over. Then, you will be left with your hubby only! Ask yourself, will your hubby be enough for you after having Mr. Hotstuff inside you?

"Comparing him would serve no purpose". But you already are comparing him! Look at yur next sentence!! "There's always the chance that the third-wheel will be better. My only problem is that sex with hubby seems trite compared to threesomes, particularly with Mr. Hotstuff"

This situation is nothing but trouble for you and your hubby!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:23pm
Well then maybe I am doing something wrong in the few threesomes that I have had becauase although I had some of the best experiences come from them, I still love the sex with my SO and it has not dwarfed in the slightest. I still enjoy coming home to him every night and having sex just as much as when someone else was there.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:40pm
It seems like the whole point of this threesome situation is the honesty and trust part, between you and your husband. Kind of like don't do or say something you couldn't do or say in front of your SO, else there is something wrong about it.

If it would be hurting is feelings, I wouldn't think you'd want to do it at that cost.

I can see how it might be exciting and all, but the price of the relationship is quite high.

Good luck to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:44pm
Of course I'm comparing him. It comes with the territory! We accept that, and have agreed that no details are necessary. We're very secure in our love for each other. We only have sex with those we are attracted to, so we accept all consequences. I know that Mr. Hotstuff will probably get bored with us eventually, and I accept that too. He's only been my second, and I plan on having many many more. Maybe even someone better than him! Hubby and I have discussed these issues and we've agreed not to disclose them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:54pm
What purpose would me telling hubby that this guy gives better oral than he does? It's not something he could change, because the very fact that it's from a different man is what makes it better, if you can believe that. He won't be the last.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:55pm
Well okay. You asked us here how to proceed with such a scenario and we gave you our 2 cents worth. In that case, I say have intercourse with as many men as you possibly can and compare them all to your hubby. Oh yeah, is it okay if he has sex with as many women as he would like, compare them to you as well? I don't think you have a marriage, more of an arrangement. Proceed as you plan - why ask if you already know what you plan on doing?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:56pm
How could it kill you? Don't you accept that it's a very GREAT possibility that someone you are involved with in a threesome could be better? If you can't accept that then you don't do them. It's the whole kicker!

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