Threesome

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Threesome
66
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 11:05am
Hubby and I had a threesome(our fourth) with a man a month ago who was incredible in bed, and who was well equipped. Unlike all of the other threesomes(two were FMF), he is a man that my husband works with. We socialize with him often, and he's unattached(has been for almost two years), and he's sexy as all hell! I find myself thinking and fantasizing about him all of the time, wanting to have more sex with him, and I believe that I'm emotionally involved to some extent. He was over yesterday for the holiday, and at one point he looked at me and said we have to "get together" real soon, and then he winked. Has anyone else ever gotten so attached over the third-person in a threesome? If so, how did you proceed?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 1:46pm
No, what I am saying is to not follow or continue on with that lust. The lust should be for your H, not this other guy. Make sense to everyone else, obviously, just not you. You seem to be falling into the catagory of the selfish. Your needs outway everything else, including your marraige. Good thing your h doesn't get on this board. I would be highly surprised if your marriage made it a week after him finding out your attitude regarding this. But then again, I don't think you really have a marriage as Tiana said, you have an arrangment. So, Have fun with it, just don't cry to us when it falls apart on you. C-ya.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 1:59pm
>>Huh? I'm confused.<<

You can say that again ;o)

>>How is that calling the kettle black?<<

The first statement I quoted was you saying that you are not willing to give up the thrill of a threesome with your husband's friend to preserve your marriage because it is too good for *YOU*. Selfish. Then you go on to say that group sex is selfish and only fulfills your selfish sexual needs. That is *exactly* what you are doing with this guy. Do you know what the pot calling the kettle black means? I can explain it further if you need me too. No one has said here that you shouldn't participate in threesomes, just that you should reconsider continuing on with someone you have a strong attachment to. Why is that so hard to understand?

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 2:00pm
I agree with you jeep that threesomes are "different". Boy, are they! Kinda weird. I definitely needed a couple strong drinks before we got started and even then, it was awkward. But with the right lighting, music and with R talking to me and being with me a little beforehand - I got into it. I only liked the part when R was watching us and when we both worked on him. After that, I didn't like it at all. Things can go wrong too easily and emotions are high and on edge, I think. I know R could never watch me with another man. I don't want to be with another man anyway, but it's all just very difficult especially when you truly love someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2002
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 2:08pm
I have engaged in a few marital threesomes... some OK and some not-so OK prior to marriage and had another pleasant one just recently, once given my unwanted "freedom." I was the "guest" of these couples, so-to-speak. I carefully observed couples' behaviors, making sure I did not step on any toes until I got into a situation once I'll never forget or repeat. It was in the late-80's... I was in my late-twenties just a year prior to engagement after breaking up with my girlfriend... later to become my wife. They were an affluent, extremely attractive couple named Fran & Dale in their mid-to-late thirties who had put out an ad in a swing mag... an "experienced swinging couple seeking open-minded attractive 20s-30s males... long hair a plus." We all three talked over the phone and I met him prior at a restaurant where he let me know he owned an insurance agency in Scottsdale which I guessed he told me to put my mind at ease that he was not a weirdo. He also let it be known he would "actively" participate in everything and expected all parties to "participate" with each other, meaning possible bi contact between us. He showed me her photo and he seemed clean, attractive and even-minded, so I thought what the heck - I was curious to try something new. My being opened to that possibility made it an easy decision for us to all agree to those terms. We had a number of phone conversations and discussed several different scenarios until we decided to make future plans for a rendezvous.

The day finally arrived, as did I, at their lush, secure, private townhome on a Saturday morning. I was greeted at the door by both of them, arm-in-arm, wearing nothing but silk robes and he complimented me on my ride parked in their driveway. They invited me in and drew the curtains closed, instantly creating a distinctly different mood as there were no lights on in the room. We talked for quite a while in their living room and she cuddled up next to me on their big, soft, plush leather couch running her fingers through my hair. She came onto me, gradually disrobing me, while he sat in a big, overstuffed leather chair, watching from afar, encouraging her from a distance - she was soft, lucious and seductive. Her long dark hair, tanned slim body and seductive eyes were enough to put me in a trance and she felt the same about me (sound familiar?) - there was the most amazing sexual energy betwen she and I. We BOTH felt it and we BOTH quickly forgot about her husband almost simultaneously and upon us realizing that, we both encouraged him to join us - he declined. There he was propped back in a chair, robe open, exposing his tanned athletic body in full. She was running her fingers through my long thick curly locks and I became jello, pleading with him to join us. Again, he declined - and he just sat there observing us, almost as if we were some sort of experimental subjects. He then encouraged her to mount me doggystyle after a good thirty minutes of oral and foreplay. She turned around and backed toward me. I was in a trance and then felt the most amazing sensation when we interlocked perfectly - I had never felt so good with another woman before (or since) as I did right then... and she later whispered neither had she. It was a feeling beyond velvet... then suddenly after a few minutes of rocking while he encouraged us from the chair, his voice took a real sharp turn and he started voicing his displeasure of being left out. Again, we both physically encouraged him to join us as he was only a few feet away at that time. Again, he declined saying facetious things like "go ahead, don't mind me" which instantly broke the mood. Then he became irate and she quivered, but defended her/their actions as what he wanted. I tried to console him and all hell broke loose. She said I had better go when he abruptly left the room in a huff. I speedily gathered all my clothes as if in a bad teen sex comedy and desperately made my way to the front door. He returned to the room and was booming at my exit without his being notified. He tried to apologize and asked me to stay and resume my activities with his wife, if you can believe that - I am sure he said that to appease her. It was far too late for me to even think about sex at that point. He then got into an argument with his wife, yelling once again and really becoming red-faced. She started crying and he suggested that I leave (duh!), but the security door was locked from the inside. I swore he would have pulled a gun had I turned my back to him. He then stomped off threatening me as he went back to their bedroom that I never did see. Finally, she hurriedly got a key and unlocked the gate, apologizing to me at which I fled. I started my 'Stang up, threw it in reverse and drove backwards when I saw him waving something runnin out the front door past his barely clad and through the opened gate. I drove straight backwards at like thirty miles an hour and threw my '68 fastback into a U like an action film stunt driver. I don't think I even breathed until I was completely around the corner at the end of their street. He later called, apologizing for his "over-reaction" to the situation and re-invited me to join them sexually - I declined.

It's amazing I ever attempted another threesome after that horriffic experience. I later deducted that he was jealous because of our spontaneous chemistry with each other that she apparently did not share with her supposedly understanding husband. She even called me later practically begging me for a possible fling without him, but I was having no part of that - I liked living. To this date, 15 years later, I have yet to feel sexually as I did with her in that brief, incomplete encounter, but the inherent danger I felt caused by her husband's emotional reaction kept me from ever contacting either of them again. I'm not saying that will happen with you, but who knows what might happen? Remember, you are dealing with souls... peoples' lives - not toys. You can never predict or control others' emotions or reactions should a jealous, green-eyed monster situation arise. People react to jealousy differently - just watch a soap opera... or the 10 O'Clock news... or read the obituaries.

Ted in AZ

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 2:27pm
Whatever, it doesn't matter becuase I agree with Jeep 100% and this is the last time I will post to this thread. I still don't see why you posted and continue to post here when all you are doing is defending yourself against everyone else here and you know what we think. I'm dropping it and forgetting about it. There's no point in agrueing with someone who is blind to what their actions are leading to and cannot see that by making the agreement to keep feelings inside will bring the relationship to an end. Period, end of story.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 2:30pm
Wow. Thanks for sharing your story! I know, I know - threesomes can be very weird and dangerous because of people's feelings! We're not robots! At the end of our threesome, I was crying and shaking and just very upset. When my hubby (boyfriend at the time) and she came walking down the stairs from the bedroom, I stormed out of the house. We actually broke up for a couple weeks over it. I had been fine up to a point, but then when I saw my man touching her and entering her, I just lost it.

We live only 9 houses away from this woman and since that time, she and I have become friends. Not super close, but friendly (walk the dogs on the beach sometimes). But once was enough for me, thank you!

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