Threesome

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Threesome
28
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 8:57pm
We have been married for more than 5 years, we have children, love eachother, and spend a great deal of time staying in ggod shape. In the last month, after years of joking and talking, we have had 1.5 threesomes. The first was with another man, a good friend of ours. We didn't have intercourse, but it was four straight hours of licking rubbing and kissing. We had a great time.

The following week, and it sounds crazy, but we did almost the same thing with a good female friend of ours. It didn't go nearly as far, but it was wonderful as well.

My husband and I have never felt closer, more honest with each other or more comfortable with eachother as best friends.

We are going to do it again....

Has anyone else done this and had a positive experience?

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Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: intrinsic
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 10:56pm
In my opinion, the vast majority of loving couples could not engage in threesomes without guilt, jealousy, and a host of other emotions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
In reply to: intrinsic
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 11:57pm
You are probably right....we weren't sure for a while, and then the opportunity presented itself. I am sure that there will be some complications along the way....but it has also brought us much closer....a bit hard to explain....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: intrinsic
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 12:16am
I cannot understand how anyone who claims to love their partner would be willing to share them sexually with another person.

The day my partner says he wants another person in our bed, is the day I say that if I'm not enough for him......then it's been nice, adios!

In my opinion, sex, or sexual activity is NOT a game, or an entertainment for the evening, it's an expression of love between two people.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: intrinsic
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 1:53am
Hey, if it works for you two, that's great. But I think the majority of couples who indulge in swinging find that it damages their relationships.

My DH and I could never share ourselves with others outside our marriage, though. We believe in monogamy and find after 28 yrs. of practicing it, that we have never been closer or better partners.

To each his own though.


Edited 5/10/2004 1:57 am ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
In reply to: intrinsic
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 10:27am
Intrinsic,

Have to agree with the other posters here. You are playing with TNT here. What happens if one of the two of you enjoys the third person more than their SO? Could you watch your husband have intercourse or oral sex with another? Can he comfortably see you do those things? What happens if one of you sees the third without the other? Are you prepared to destroy your relationship for the sake of sex? These are all questions you should seriously discuss with each other.

However, if this is a road that you feel called to travel, make sure that you have rules laid out before hand, and follow them to the letter:

1)Who will touch whom and in what way? Kissing, intercourse, oral, orgasms etc. etc.

2)Who will be involved? Friends or strangers?

Make a list, and be honest about what you could and could not watch your SO do with another person. If that changes during the actual act, you both need to honest.

It has been my experience that MOST cannot stay within this lifestyle for long. In my humble opinion, this gradually erodes a sacred bond between the two of you.

I think Kat said it best when she described sex as a way for two people to become closer...I believe wholeheartedly that that is true. Sex is really the ONLY thing that a couple shares exclusively with the other. It's a bond that IMO should never be tampered with.

Good luck.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: intrinsic
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 10:39am
This post was edited by me for content. I do apologize to everyone here, as my attitude was not warranted, and you all did not deserve it. I do however want to say this. When people enjoy something, don't knock them for it just because you don't agree with it. Let them enjoy it, and have fun. Your opinion on the issue is not always the welcome one, and it can do more damage by itself than many people realize. Again, I apologize totally for the response, and hope to keep my cool a little more often. Bad day at work, tired, sore, etc., etc. I know Excuses, excuses. Well to everyone on this board, besides a select one, You know who you are, I am sorry. Peace to all.


Edited 5/10/2004 1:25 pm ET ET by jeephead
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: intrinsic
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 10:49am
Exclusively neither. Although it seems that you define disagreeing as "slamming."

I think YOU are confused about the purpose of the board, jeep. This is an OPINION board, where yes, you'll get support, advice AND dissenting points of views! And any time you post, you should realize that.

IF the OP wanted only positive responses, she should post on a swinger's board or the Taboo board. Yes, she and her DH are fine with it NOW but it will also benefit her to hear the downside of the lifestyle, as well, and there IS a downside!

None of us learn anything surrounded by "yes people" who agree with everything we say though!

Edited 5/10/2004 10:53 am ET ET by katmandoo2001


Edited 5/10/2004 10:57 am ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
In reply to: intrinsic
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 10:50am
Woah!! Why in the world are you flipping out?!?! A thread was started regarding threesomes and they put in their two cents. I did not see a single thread on here that attacked or was rude in ANY way! The OP had a positive experience, wonderful for her. But others just wanted to point out that not EVERYONE is going to have a positive experience in a threesome. What if someone on here is trying to decide whether they want a threesome or not (this is a sex info board after all). Now this thread shows both sides and the person can decide for themselves if its something they want. And why did you attack Scott's post? It was quite informative and helpful, for anyone considering a threesome and it in NO way attacked the OP or the fact that the OP had a threesome, it simply put forth a bunch of things a person should think about before engaging in a threesome. Frankly the only post in this thread that seems inappropriate is yours!

Angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
In reply to: intrinsic
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 11:31am
Dear Jeephead,

You may want to review some of your earlier posts on Taboo etc. concerning your experience with a threesome (3some gone bad). To me that is the perfect reason for really talking and deciding if this is something that you want to do. There is the potential for a lot of pain here. You experienced a lot pain from your situation...I suspect that you still are considering the angry tone of your post. My post was not meant to be judgmental...I just mentioned that most are not able to pull off this lifestyle (that is true). Most my not all. There are obviously people that have had this experience, and continue to do so without problems. But, most cannot (as you have learned). To me, sex is not worth destroying a loving relationship...it's just sex, it happens in the mind, and we can "play" at multiple partners without actually bringing someone into the bedroom.

In the long run living out a fantasy (making it real) is not nearly as important to me as living out my reality. We have a beautiful, nurturing relationship that has been healing and satisfying for both of us. This works for me, and for most if they allow and feed it. I don't mind if others do something different, but she did ask for opinions, and that was mine.

Peace brother.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
In reply to: intrinsic
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 11:40am
Sorry Jeephead, yours was NOT the 3some post...however, good one to read for anyone looking for the darker side of 3somes anyway.

Scott.

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