Threesome - Fantasy or real

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Threesome - Fantasy or real
7
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 6:37pm

Hi need some opinions here.

I've been with my boyfriends for 5 months and we started having sex more than a month ago. We are relatively open to each other, both in and out of the bedroom. He's a wonderful guy who listens when I talk and shares his thoughts/ feelings. Recently, he asked me about my sexual fantasy and also shared with me his - which is to have a threesome with 2 girls. He has never done it before and I wasn't too disturbed as I think this is a very common fantasy.

During foreplay one day, he started to describe how he would like to watch me have sex with another man, and how exactly he would join in and what the 2 of them would be doing. He did this again another time, saying he'll get me a second guy one day for mind-blowing sex... I joked by saying we'll get him a second girl instead.

We do try dirty talk during sex, but is this just part of dirty talk or is he serious about it - is there a way to tell? Should I be concerned that he actually wants to see me have sex with another guy??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 7:47pm

Hi gal_hellokitty and welcome to the board.

It is a very common fantasy, but if you are only talking about it during sex, it could just be fantasy play, dirty talk, etc.

The only way you can really be sure if he is serious is to bring it up outside of the bedroom and talk about it. If it's something that you are not comfortable with, then don't do it. Most couples that do share their bed this way spend a lot of time talking about their plans and making rules of play.

If you talk with him, and he is serious, AND you decide you do want to do this, you can get more info on the Taboos board. There is a folder there called 'Open Relationships'.

Here's the link to Taboos: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rltaboos

There are people on that board that do have open relationships. They can give you a lot of advice, share experiences, etc.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 4:39am
DW uses a realistic dildo while she gives me a blowjob and we fantasize that we are having a MFM threesome. I will say things like the other guy might-like how good it is-how tight, etc. Much safer than the real thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 8:44am

It's a common fantasy, and it's fun to talk about. Most people who've tried it will tell you it's not going to enhance your relationship in the end. That's why fantasies are fantasies......because you never intend to do them.

If you don't know him well enough to know if he's serious, then you'll have to ask him. And just because HE wants to do it, you don't have to agree if it's something you're uncomfortable with.

I have to question a person's feelings for me if he wants to share me with another man, or wants another woman in the bed. Some people do it......but I wouldn't. If someone insisted, the relationship would be over for me. A relationship is about more than sex, but if I'm not enough for him sexually, then he can find someone else to share his fantasy. Just my opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 5:55pm

Hi Sakura,

Thanks... agree with you that he doesn't think I'm not enough for him, then this relationship may not be quite worth it. So long as he keeps those details during sex and doesn't insist on really doing a threesome, I think I might as well enjoy it as it is for now.

Thanks! =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 5:57pm
Hi oldkinky, thanks for the ideas...may try them and see how it works out! =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 5:59pm
Thanks Misty, so far he has kept it to the bedroom and during foreplay...if he does bring it up seriously outside the bedroom, I will talk to him about it. Thks for the advice =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 9:18pm

Hi gal:

Some things should be kept only as thoughts...from another ivillage board:

A guy and gal had a threesome with a woman. After the weekend, both the husband and wife got herpes!!!

Mac