threesomes?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2007
threesomes?
18
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 7:08pm
I heard threesomes usually ruin relationships? True or false? Why?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: fantastiktrio
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 7:52pm

It depends on the people involved if it will ruin a relationship or not.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: fantastiktrio
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 11:17pm

I don't have much more to add than what Tish has already said - it depends on the couple.

Some couples can handle it, some can't. Even if you are prepared as much as you can be beforehand, actually doing it can create emotions and issues that you didn't expect. Then it depends a lot of how well the two of you can work through and deal with those emotions and issues.

I'm inclined to think that many younger couples do it without really thinking about it too. The situation presents itself, it sounds fun, and they jump in without creating guidelines, groundrules, or much talk at all about it. Unsurprisingly it blows up in their faces.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: fantastiktrio
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 8:02am

Welcome to the board fantastiktrio.

I think 3somes stand the chance of ruining any relationship. Many times, couples try opening up their bedroom in an effort to fix something that is broken within their relationship. It doesn't work.

Most couples that survive 3somes have a lot of ground rules and talk about the possibility for a long time. They have to find the right person to suit their needs, they have to have a strong relationship, and they have to have a lot of trust in each other. It has to be something that each of them equally wants to do.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2007
In reply to: fantastiktrio
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 10:26pm

So, what have you heard? Or tried?

Let me know! I'm in a marriage where my husband is looking for a 3some , just for fun!

What do you know from experience or have heard from others experiences?

Happy to hear from you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
In reply to: fantastiktrio
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 5:22am
DW uses a realistic dildo while she gives me a BJ and we fantasize that we are having a MFM threesome. I will say things like the other guy might. Much safer than the real thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: fantastiktrio
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 7:33am

Welcome to the board armaniwoman.



While there is some advice in this thread, you might want to visit the Taboos board. There is a folder there for "Open Relationships" where people tend to have more experience.



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Edited 5/15/2007 7:38 am ET by cl-misty_mae




iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2007
In reply to: fantastiktrio
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 12:02pm
A threesome is a lot of fun, but we do have ground rules. We meet at a hotel and we make it very clear to the 3rd person we have an awesome relationship and are just looking to step it up a notch. I know that my husband is my sole mate and I'm his. It's an added dimension, it's fun and it doesn't hurt anyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2004
In reply to: fantastiktrio
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 4:51pm

I have heard the same thing!

Recently my husband has asked me to have a threesome with another man and him. I told him I don't want to that i am afraid that it will ruin our marriage and I would never forgive myself! Am I wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
In reply to: fantastiktrio
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 12:50am

I too have thought about it, but right now am single and think it is just a long shot that I ever could. The fantasy most men have is FMF, both women trying to please him and playing with each other in front of him, I say ask if he would be ok if it were reversed ie MFM?

Jason B. S.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: fantastiktrio
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 7:43am

You're definitely not wrong. For a threesome to work, all three parties have to be comfortable and doing something that they "want" to be doing.

I won't say that the thought isn't intriguing, but I always consider how I would feel if he wanted the reverse (FMF). I can't imagine that I would ever want to go there.

If you were to ever agree to having a 3-some, the two of you would have to talk all of the details out first. Most couples make rules about what can and can't be done during the event, and talk about it for a very long time before they ever make it a reality.

If you are curious, you could visit a swingers club in your area. The two of you could go there with the understanding that you are not going to participate in anything with other people. Then you can observe others and see if you think you would be comfortable in that situation.



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