threesomes...his want...why??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
threesomes...his want...why??
3
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 9:37am
my man likes the idea of being with another woman... then again...what guy doesn't? i don't mind him likeing it. in fact, i encourage him to tell me how he feels on everything knowing honesty and truth are a must in a relatiopnship. i tell him everything and when somehing bothers him, i stop it. that's what you do in a relationship, make sacrifices, make decisions together for the good of you both. i urge him that how he is and how he acts are fine with me, although, within reason. here are my questions and then some.

first, i want to know why? because i don't understand why he and every other male of this planet feel these things. Why does he want to have a threesome with me, him, and another woman? Why does he get excited at the proepct of watching me with another woman? Why does he want to be with another woman with me watching? WHy does he continue to be flirtatious with other women even though i've told him i hate it an it hurts my feelings? why does he get so angry if i flirt with another man and refuses to even contemplate the idea of a threesome of him, me and another man? or anything with me and another man? i've asked him and asked him to stop flirting with other women and told him i don't want to think about a threesome and don't want to do it. My man is good to me... loves me...is over all considerate of me in just about everything in our life. But when it comes to the opposite sex..him...and anything there in... why is it so hard for him to realize i don't want to share him either, i don't want to do anything with the same sex and him watching, and i absolutely HATE it when he flirts with other women, that it hurts my feelings and realy realy pisses me off! I don't want to hear that paticular fantasy of his. i want him to always be honest with me and i him. but that's all i want. fine..you've told me you ant a threesome and i've told you i don't like the idea of it. why continue to push the issue? and why continue to hurt me by your flirtasious ways? is it a built in mechanism or something? do you need a medication to stop it..LOL

i seriously doubt my man would ever cheat on me although, i will tell you i once thought differently for awhile because of these very things. but certain circumstances has helped to make me be reassured once again. this is just my misunderstanding of themopposite sex i guess, i don't know.. help??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 10:15am

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 12:38pm
yeah that was kind of harsh to pin point all men like that... must be just the men in my life... haha.. tha's true though. what you said about him. and i'm finding it's an issue he won't drop. to be more honest and not quite so agrivated about it, he doesn't push the issue like he would if he were hungry and wanted me to make dinner. it's more of a hint hre or a comment there abuot a woman. now the flirting thing e dos do, contantly, although he calms it down when i'm around. it sucks too because i love this man very much and we have plans to marry. we have a 16 month old daughter together. but i'm not sure i can marry man who has these feelings and theseactions that he won't give up. we're always honset about oue sexual fantasies, that's what i want anyway. and we've acted manmy out. it just seems this one fantasy he has is something he is going to always be sad that it won't get acted out. i don't know what to do though. about him and his want in that fantasy. thanks for reading though and trying to help.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 1:02pm

I have to disagree that all men desire a threesome or to see their wife with another woman. My DH feels just the opposite. We've discussed the subject many times over the years and his opinion never changes.

If your DH is flirting with other women, in front of you or behind your back, then tell him it needs to stop out of respect for you and your marriage. And if you have no interest in a threesome or being with another woman, then tell him to stop hounding you about it because it's never going to happen. I believe in honest communication, too, but I DON'T think it's necessary to share EVERY fantasy or stray thought one has, especially if no good can come of it.