too big

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
too big
6
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 3:57pm
my bf and I have been having sex from pretty much since the time we have been going out. near 9 months. honestly i feel like i don't pleasure him enough because his penis is seriously, i'm talking huge. im not trying to brag or anything... but i've been with other guys of course- so but i figured after this long.... it wouldn't hurt so bad. if we do it alot during the week, it's not a problem but if we wait a week or so it becomes a problem where it really hurts. i've tried lube once or twice it seems to help a little bit, is that our best bet? he gets frustrated cause obviously i want to have it but it hurts too much some times. i want to satisfy him so bad- but i get so frustrated with myself. i feel like it's my fault sometimes. suggestions? THANKS :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: goddess_jmfan
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 11:49pm

The problem isn't that he's too large, it's that your vagina is too tight. Usually, it's because there's not enough foreplay, or because you've had pain before, so you can't relax enough to allow your vaginal muscles to relax. You need LOTS of foreplay to be aroused and relaxed, so that your vaginal muscles relax, too. Just remember, one day a baby will pass thru your vagina, and if it's big enough for that, it's big enough for any penis, which cannot be bigger than a 7-8 pound baby!

Yes, lube is your best bet until you can learn to relax enough to allow your body to make enough lubrication...or you might just be someone who can't lubricate enough, and you'll always need it. But even lube won't relax your vagina.....only lots of foreplay with lots of clitoral stimulation will do that. If he wants "his" then he has to take the time to give you "yours"!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
In reply to: goddess_jmfan
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 10:44am
PP hit this one right on the head (ooh, bad pun!). Foreplay, and relax. You are probaly even subconsciously remembering it hurting, thus tightening things up. Relax, play around, use some lube & focus on the enjoyment, rather than the apprehension of pain.

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
In reply to: goddess_jmfan
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 9:53pm
This is interesting -- I was a virgin until two weeks ago...and it was with a well-endowed man...It didn't hurt during intercourse but I bled a little (probably normal for a virgin though I have been masturbating and whatnot for a few years). I bought some water-based lube today - hoping that will help if and when there is a "next time" which I'm really hoping there will be! But I think you're right about the importance of being relaxed...it's not necessarily a psychological thing...I think clitoral stimulation will do the trick - and I'm sure he'll be more than happy to oblige!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
In reply to: goddess_jmfan
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 5:38pm
hi. I know what you mean. My husband is very big as well (near 8 inches) and we have only been with each other. The best advice I can give you is 1) "USE LUBE"! and very important 2) "DO A LOT OF FOREPLAY" the more turned on you are etc. the more your vagina will open up and allow him to enter it. If you are feeling nervous and tense, it will be difficult. Also, try having him enter you by your sitting on top. Sometimes it may take him 1 or 2 times to get in, like it takes my husband, but it's worth a try. Good luck :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
In reply to: goddess_jmfan
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 2:04pm
Foreplay is key, and if you don't get very wet, then you should also add lube. If he's simply too long for you (there shouldn't be anyone "too thick" to fit), he'll have to learn how to withhold that last inch. Or two. Or, heaven forbid, three.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: goddess_jmfan
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 4:58pm
Typically when lube is really necessary, it is the width that is the problem , not the length. There are women out there who have trouble with a thick man, because they themselves are tighter than normal and it doesnt become a problem until she is with a guy who is really thick. Women do need to realise that just like penises vaginas too come in different sizes.(both in depth and width)