Too disgusted to touch him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Too disgusted to touch him!
7
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 4:02pm

To start off, I'm 18, a senior in H.S. and my man is 19. We've been together for over 2 years. He started off our relationship being really sweet, but once we started having sex, he got a real cocky attitude.

This morning, a reliable friend of mine told me she was talking to my boyfriend and his best friend about relationships. His friend was talking about how girls are no good and he'd have no problem with depending on his right hand for the rest of his life (nice, but it gets better). My friend didn't understand, so my boyfriend decided to spell it out for her. He said "Girlfriends aren't good for anything except getting naked and sucking d*ck".

Now, he may have been joking, and he may have been translating what his friend was trying to say, but I am completely disgusted that that sentence came out of my boyfriend's mouth. I feel like I never want him to touch me, and I'm disgusted with him and myself, for giving into his sexual needs.

I know he and I are young and immature, but I need some advice on what to do. I haven't had the chance to talk to him yet, but I'm so angry, I'm almost afraid to.




Edited 11/17/2004 4:05 pm ET ET by x1moreaddiction
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 4:18pm
Unfortunately most guys at your age are not mature enough to realize a good thing when they have it. There are some exceptions, but, from experience I know that you are setting yourself up for heartbreak if you invest too much emotional energy in a 19 year old guy. Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear, but check back in with him when he is 30...that's about the time they start catching up to a woman's emotional maturity.
erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 4:19pm

Your b/f might have just been translating what his friend meant and I wouldn't jump to conclusions without talking to him first.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 6:33pm

I think that there is more to this than one smart, cocky, immature comment while joking around with friends.

How do you feel about your relationship with him overall? You have managed to give the distinct impression that you think that he is too cocky and a pain in the arse. If everything else in the relationship was fine then I would say that you are over-reacting to a young man's cocky comment when he was 'with the boys' and showing off. However, you are pretty upset about this and unhappy with other things too.

Perhaps you should re-evaluate this relationship completely? It sounds like you beginning to drift away from him because you don't like how he treats you or acts in the relationship over-all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 8:00pm
His attitude toward sex is decent .. in that, I mean that he makes sure I orgasm during sex. However, in foreplay, it is solely focused on him. I ask him to do oral on me, but it lasts maybe 5 minutes before he wants to have sex again. What I meant by cocky, is that ever since he and I have been intimate, he thinks he can have anyone, anywhere, anytime. Beforehand, he'd be surprised if a girl would say hi to him. I feel that he takes me for granted most of the time, and if I come to him with a problem, he gets annoyed and shuts down on me. He's very non-emotional.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 8:12pm

I would say this guy is selfish and immature


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 8:56pm
I appreciate your support more than you could know. It just might be that last straw. Never before have I stood up and said "Treat me better or I'm gone." Maybe that's what it'll take... I just have never been this outraged and disgusted before.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 10:42pm
I read your post and just had to answer. Your problem is age old. I have come across it myself so many times. What's going on is he had no confidence before you came along, then he got real lucky to get you to be his girl he became a little arrogant like "He's all that" because he has you. I dealt with this with 2 men in my past. One I was sooo in love with but I needed to leave him because I felt he didn't respect me. If he loved me he would treat me with that love and defend me even when I wasn't around. I left him beleive me it was so hard 8 years later I still think of him but it was the right thing to do. Same thing happen with another guy that I was not so into, I thought he was so nice that's the only reason why I dated him after the sex he was a monster. Horrible. I left that sucker and thought screw. Both guys regretted it so much. I was off the market so fast when I met my husband he adores me and we have been together for 6 years and he cherishes me like a GODDESS. What is it like being treated like a Godess. I have so much confidence it's unbeleivable. I have 2 children and when people look at me they think I'm 10 years younger. I feel great, I feel strengthen and I beleive in myself. Don't put up with Sh*t. A great guy who is CRAZY about you is probably lurking around. Just be careful because men can be notorious liars.