too FAST
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too FAST
| Sat, 01-13-2007 - 4:32pm |
My husband ejaculates anywhere from 1 to 3 minutes after he puts his penis in. We have foreplay before, but I'm still unsatisfied! I feel like we're just getting started and then all of a sudden it's over, sometimes before I even really know. He'll slow down and start to stop and I'm just shocked at how fast it was. We both read a sex book that said the average couple has sex for 15 minutes. I take that to mean that the man's penis is inside for 15 minutes. I've tried going slow, cutting down foreplay hoping he won't be ready, all kinds of things. I talked to him about it today and brought up the topic of the book and he said he thinks that means the 15 min. includes foreplay. He said he can't help it, that's just the way his body is. How long do most couples have intercourse and if it's longer than 3 minutes, how can I get him to last longer?

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Try having him wear a condom, this usualy helps make it last longer as the sensation is minimized somewhat.
Well, if you can bring up a book that made him feel bad, then why can't you bring up the fact that there ARE methods by which he can train himself to last longer? If he works on that, you'll BOTH have more pleasure. YOu can't blame him for being defensive when you're telling him he's not as good as most men!
It was and still IS inexperience if you've only been having sex for three months. It takes time for BOTH of you to get used to each other. Even if you'd both been experienced before, with a new partner, it takes time! You both have to learn each other's needs, and each other's hot spots.
Instead of criticizing him, try experimenting with different positions, woman on top being a good one....but there are many more you can try. You don't have to say "this will make it last longer"......you can just say "lets try this, it sounds like fun".
And, if you make him take a long time for foreplay, he'll be giving you pleasure before you ever start intercourse, and you won't feel so bad if he finishes faster. Believe it or not, when it comes to "pleasure" most women enjoy the foreplay as much as the intercourse, and many women have orgasms during foreplay.....even women who don't have them from intercourse!
Hello Ann, Speaking from the guy's perspective here, I am a guy who doesn't last long. But in my own defense, I honestly think my wife is the hottest woman I have ever known. And I swear its such an overwhelming lust that over takes me when I know I am making love to her. I just lose control way too soon. I don't feel embarrassed about it, I feel very frustrated about it. Its by far my most exciting moment of any day of my life to make love to her. He might have the same feelings for you as I do for my wife.
My suggestions...You could go down on him first. Get him off first, then offer yourself for him to go down on you. During that time you will get some satisfaction, plus he will be given time to recover and be ready to make love to you. Generally the second round is normally longer.
If he wants to get inside you right away like you normally do now, then why not go down on him after the first round and get him aroused and erect again for the second round. (although I do know some women aren't too comfortable with this after already being inside you)
I guess my suggestions are generally in the area of helping him help you. I know that right after my first orgasm. Its very draining, physically and psychologically, but usually within 5 minutes the drained state leaves and lust returns...usually I just need a little loving attention to get the ball rolling again. Very erotic to see a woman who wants and needs sex.
And remember this is coming from a guy who doesn't last more than 5 minutes the first time, but if I am given the opportunity to go a second round...well I have been known to last over an hour that second time.
So I say, just don't give up after the first orgasm of his. Entice him to want to continue...if you show him how much you want him. He will undoubtedly want to reciprocate.
hope this helps some.
Jake
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