too hard, not hard enough etc...???????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
too hard, not hard enough etc...???????
12
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 2:11pm

Hi guys.

I'm having a little prob. My bf either cums REALLY fast or he can't get hard enough so we can actually have sex. It's either he's way too hard and he hurts me or he's too soft and it's just really frustrating. I see the frustration in his face and I don't know what to do. I'm not one of those going down people, I don't know why but I'm just not. Him going down on me or me going on him...it's just not happening anytime soon. I'm not sure what else to do, I feel really bad.

Granted, he's under a lot of stress with exams and stuff which could attribute to his lack of control. He can control his muscles, he holds back or just goes a lot slower when he feels he's about to cum but to just get to that point is really hard. The first time today we tried having sex, he finished really quick, the second time he wasn't hard enough and the third time was just right lol. I don't want this to kill his ego though. Anybody have experience with this stuff?? :(

I love him, I don't want him to be so frustrated. (He was like "OMG I'm gonna slap it")lmao awwwwww

pls help

thanks
ash

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 9:10pm
>>And you know, you're right, foreplay is important but for now these are my problems<<

Hon, that's just it. Your problems are CAUSED by a lack of foreplay. Start to have foreplay and all of your problems will be solved.

I totally agree that you shouldn't do anything that you're not comfortable with, however, stop questioning how you can help your boyfriend. You see, if you work on your own issues, your boyfriend's issues (except for being limp because of having sex 3 times in 5 hours) will solve themselves.

On your first post, I said that I thought that you weren't ready for sex. And the more I read from you, the more I believe that this is the case. Being ready is not about how old you are or how long you've been together. It's about being comfortable enough to share 100% of your body with another human being.

I would suggest that you stop having intercourse for now. Start to work on some of your own issues instead - and spend time just having fun with manual stimulation. Once you've got your own issues and foreplay working OK, sex will be wonderful.



Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 10:08am

I went over the posts that you posted on the Going Down board.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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