too Kinky?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2007
too Kinky?
3
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 10:15am

Hi

I'm 22 female and i'm finding i only get turned on by really kinky stuff, i've been single for a year and have loved experimenting sexually, this has included girls, toys, Exhibitionism, one night stands. I love being kinky but some friends now think i should calm down, they found out i had a threesome with two men (strangers), they treated me really rough, tying me up and really using me hard in everyway possible. I felt fantastic afterwards

I can see why my friends are worried but i feel i'm young having fun at i try not to put myself at risk. Should i try to calm down or is being kinky and dirty ok? I dont want to be thought of as a slut but my friends have been shocked recently. But now normal sex doesnt do it for me. i need to be treated rough and used, i love rough anal but i'm a little worried how far i'll go. Advice please!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: freecatgirl
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 11:38am

Get yourself some professional help. Your friends are right. You've gone beyond "kinky" and you're putting yourself at danger not only from perverts and freaks, but how about diseases? This is self destructive behavior, no different than being addicted to drugs or alcohol.

You're lucky you came away from the two strangers alive, or at all.

Get help before you get in serious trouble.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: freecatgirl
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 12:35pm

Welcome to the board freecatgirl. I think your friends are probably more concerned that you are putting yourself at risk than they are that you are being kinky. Kinky is fun, but risky play is dangerous, KWIM?

How are you meeting strangers to have 3-somes with? Are you using on-line dating sites? Are you meeting them in bars? I'm sure you made some of their fantasies come true, and maybe some of your own, but it doesn't sound like you were playing safely. It's important to feel safe when you are letting people play with you like this. If you are setting up such meetings, then you need to let someone know where you will be and who you will be with -- but that still doesn't make it necessarily safe.

Also, there is the "safe sex" side of things. Are you using condoms and practicing safe sex? I'm sure you don't want a bad future for the sake of some fun now.

You're single, and it's a great time in your life to experiment sexually, but you need to do so safely. There are plenty of people that you can find to have kinky sex (as a pair or as a group) with and be safe at the same time.

If you feel like you are out of control, or are truly afraid of how far you will go, then you should try to find out what is motivating you to be this way. It seems like your behavior may be self-destructive. Sex addiction, like any other addiction, is a sign of a bigger problem. If you can not control your sexual behavior, then you may be suffering from a sexual addiction, and counseling will be helpful.

Here are a couple of articles for you to read:

What is Sex Addiction?
http://redbook.ivillage.com/sex/0,,9kgfrq22,00.html

Obsessed with Sex
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/0,,4lx9,00.html

I hope you take the time to read them and evaluate your own activity. If you do feel that you are in need of help, seek therapy, or at least start looking into some self-help books. It sounds like your friends would be willing to help you get healthy too if need be. You can also feel free to keep posting here.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
In reply to: freecatgirl
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 3:11pm
I myself dont really consider anything too kinky with the right person. Theres real very litle I havent done or wont do including things youve done but to just go out and meet strangers to get it?? Uh Uh Just find the person that is like you and share with him, or her dont just go out and get your freak on with anyone its more fun to share it with a special person