Too many partners?
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Too many partners?
| Sat, 05-22-2004 - 10:41am |
Howdy. I'm so mad. Last night my bf of almost 2 mos. broke up with me. We were discussing exclusivity and he asked me how many people I had sex with. I told him 19. He said it won't work, and left. He's only been with 2 partners. How can he be jealous, that was my past.

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I posted this on another board, and this applies to you as well...
I actually prefer a woman with a past for many reasons:
- That curiosity about how other men might feel is somewhat quenched.
- She will probably have a good sense of c*ck. A less experienced woman would probably have no sense of c*ck whatsoever. (I do love that line from the movie... it's true!)
- If and when she compliments me, I know it's legit as opposed to imagined.
- I know she's not "settling for me" merely because she can't have anyone else.
- She knows herself more and will probably be better at communicating what she wants.
- A woman with a history probably has a history for a good reason... I aim to find that reason.
That's not to say a virgin is that much less appealing, just more confused and immature.
Hope that helped,
Mutt (who's happily married to a beautiful and wonderfully experienced woman)
I'm much more selective about who I give my heart to than who I have sex with. Maybe in an ideal world those are always joined, but that hasn't been my experience.
Most people ask about the numbers and I am pretty honest about it. It hasn't really been an issue for me even with those that have had only a few partners. I think most people generally see past the number if there is something of substance between the two of you.
I do think it also depends on the age and in how many years you acquired the number. For me if you got to 20 in a year, I would wonder about underlying issues, but if it's a decade that seems relatively reasonable.
You can just tell them you have had past partners and they were your past and the # just doesn't matter.
The number does matter to a degree. It just magnifies the risk. Especially if you are trying to get into a monogomous LTR with someone and moving to unprotected sex. There past plays a lot into the relationship and into the sex life. Not telling the partner can be even more detrimental than telling them. I know I would want to know, and if MY SO hadn't told me right from the get go, I would probably be single right now, without any children. I think it is wrong to keep things like that, especially if asked directly. I have told my SO my number, and she has told me hers. Sometimes it is hard to accept our past, or our SO's past for the past, but we either do it, or we walk. It is a fact of life that not everyone wants to be with someone who has a lot more experience then they do. Some of us like to be more equal, or even better under experienced all the way around, so we can learn from our partners, and not have to wonder if they are doing it as well, or if he/she is thinking about one of the past lovers while he/she is doing something. None of my business??? Not at all??? I would highly disagree. It is my business, just as mine is theres.
Why would it matter if you had 3, 10 or more partners in the past.
I avoid answering that question at all costs. If I am directly asked my answer is usually a sarcastic "somewhere between 1 and 1000, what difference does it make?"
I don't think I've ever in my 35 years answered that question with an actual number yet, and I don't ever intend to! :P
Leticia
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