Too many partners?
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Too many partners?
| Sat, 05-22-2004 - 10:41am |
Howdy. I'm so mad. Last night my bf of almost 2 mos. broke up with me. We were discussing exclusivity and he asked me how many people I had sex with. I told him 19. He said it won't work, and left. He's only been with 2 partners. How can he be jealous, that was my past.

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I'm confused Jeep. I"m asking only to understand. as I do believe you have a great realtionsihp with your SO and your values about sex match, which is the MOST important thing. ON that note.....
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You said you had casual sex prior to your SO, you even cheated on your xw. So, if you could have sex with women while married, how can you find anything special about your SO? Wouldn't it follow that same belief?
You say, "i find it hard to believe you can find sex special with anyone".
I say to you, "how can you find sex special with your SO because you cheated on your xw more than once, had casual sex, and now you say you're a changed man due to sex. Well, did you ever once stop to think that maybe ppl that have A LOT
deleted because i can tell you're getting irate
Edited 5/28/2004 1:24 pm ET ET by tigger1_92
Dang. Sorry I should consolidate these posts.
I'm curious. You can post here or email me if you want. What sort of issues do you think I have?
I mean, besides, working on sexual issues with my bf, which is what my most recent post is about, what issues do I have that you see? For all I know, I could be completely blind to them, and you could be 100% correct.
Okay. Agreeing to disagree. Also, I'm gald you and your SO can talk aobut if feeligns come into play. That is one reason I would NEVER have an open rleationship with a man who has sex for emotional reasons only. Because I'd forever feel he's getting attached to her, and I"ve seen MANY marriages/relationshisp break up because the woman falls for the OM. But, of course, that's me. ;)
-T
p.s. I never ever hit my guy friends up for sex. They are friends for a reason, and I DO NOT mix friendship with sex (unless we both want a committed relationship). So, I can see why you judge your female friends the way you do. That's just disrespectful to keep pushing for it. Maybe it's the type of women you know....the ones that are having casual sex. Cuz jeez, the ones I know, they are NOT like that at all. If anything, they're like me.....picky!
Edited 5/28/2004 1:21 pm ET ET by tigger1_92
>>If she values sex so much, doesn't that means she usually has sex WITH emotions attached? Are you scared about that? <<
Yes, I am, but I have already dealt with it, so it is not a big issue anymore. The first guy was tough, for everyone involved. He felt wierd afterwards, because he too has sex with emotion. But, they are just closer friends now then before. They were able to seperate for the mutual enjoyment of all, and now treat each other pretty much the same as before, just more open. He lived with us for about two weeks afterwards because his car broke down. He is also my best friend, so he and I have a close relationship already, and we talk openly about our problems.
>>One last thing. CHOOSING to have sex w/many men doesn't make the WOMAN the sex toy. You DO realize that right? Or is it because of society that you think women can't choose to have her own sex toy? <<
Women can have there own toys. But not if they are with me, or want to be.
>>Out of my own curiosity, Let's say I've been with 20 men and I'm 29 years old. Let's say, 12 of them were bf's, and 5 of them were fwb and 3 of them were one nighters. How would you view that?<< Then you have really only had three casual sex partenrs, because FWB's are not casual, there is an attachment there that was not there for the other three. I would not hesitate to date that person. If I found them to be stimulating, attractive, and compatable.
Well, I am glad to help you understnad how my mind works, even though it is not even close to the way most I have met works. As I said in one of my other posts on this board, or even in this thread, the number is not as important as the number of casual partners. Now as for FWB's, I do not consider them casual when placed next to one night stands. But then I don't consider a relationship anything at all if it only lasts a week. That to me is nothing more than a one night stand. My SO took longer than a week for all her men, accept one, and he pretty much raped her. She didn't say no quite as well as she should have, but then she did say no several times. Most of the rest were longer than two weeks before she had sex with them. So I respect her number a lot more than say if she had slept with them the first week, and then realized she didn't care for them and got rid of them. There is a big difference between love and lust, and I don't think anyone can fall in love with more than one person, at first site. I do believe in love at first site, as it happened to me, but only once. I have lusted after many, but only found one, that really made me feel different inside, and out. So, I hope that helps. Keep throwing questions at me, if you want, and I will keep tossing you explainations as needed.
"You twist everything to fit your ideals don't you. That is just one of the reasons I don't particularly care about your opinion. "
No. To me, I'm comparing, and understanding. Learning how other ppl think so I can understand ppl in general when they are different from me.
I understand you
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