Too many partners?
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Too many partners?
| Sat, 05-22-2004 - 10:41am |
Howdy. I'm so mad. Last night my bf of almost 2 mos. broke up with me. We were discussing exclusivity and he asked me how many people I had sex with. I told him 19. He said it won't work, and left. He's only been with 2 partners. How can he be jealous, that was my past.

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Maybe it was the times we grew up in together, but neither of us cared how many there were before us, because it could have been a whole slew. I guess what I'm trying to say, is we expected high numbers, and so we didn't judge each other on it. Honestly, I never gave it much thought, because, after all, "free love" was emancipating! ;-)
Txguy,
I agree, trust is #1 in a relationship.
I originally found this board while doing a search trying to understand a woman's point of view on sex. What I found was a very rich source of opinions. It is an education about how diverse opinions are. I am coming to the conclusion that there is only one generally accepted women's opinion. That is that want their gender treated fairly, after that there is no one formula that fits all.
It is quite a surprise to me to be in a position of being for love and sex together against a lot of women that believe that they are two seperate things. It just go to show how important it was for me to find this site and gain a more developed point of view of the opposite sex.
I agree, I don't think there is a formula for trust either, but feeling of trust can be changed.
Actually, I have had a lot of LTR, and MANY men fall in love with me. Some don't care about numbers, like my bf. He won't even ask because to him, it's just my past, I am who I am because of it, and he knows I wouldn't ever cheat because I do believe in monogamy. For the most part, ALL the men I had been with was in a monogamous relationship (even if it was FWB).
But yes, you are right. MANY men couldn't handle it, and that's why I won't say anymore. If they can't deal with NOT knowing, then guess what? They aren't for me. If my xh had left me because of it, I would just look at the situation and say, "he wasn't for me, because the man who IS for me, won't run".
Holy
Angel,
Perfectly put. And for me, that's why I don't fall into txguy's catagory. I can have casual sex and be fine about it and enjoy it, but you're right, I am a very honest and
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txguy,
This is so sad. In your life, the ppl you know, it's been about 60% of the time they cheat? Do you think, as my therapist said, then it's time to start looking at yourself, what you MAY be doing and WHY you choose the ppl you do. I'm not talking about you specifically, but why is it your friends pick ppl who would cheat? I firmly believe that when ppl cheat, something is wrong in the relationship. It just isn't a one-sided deal.
Just something to think about. The two men you talked about. Maybe they weren't satisfying their wives as they would've liked. Maybe the women needed more attention because the H wasn't giving it to them, it could be a mulitiple of reasons, but I always say, cheating stems from problems in the relationship (not ALWAYS, but 99% it does).
-T
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