Too many partners?
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Too many partners?
| Sat, 05-22-2004 - 10:41am |
Howdy. I'm so mad. Last night my bf of almost 2 mos. broke up with me. We were discussing exclusivity and he asked me how many people I had sex with. I told him 19. He said it won't work, and left. He's only been with 2 partners. How can he be jealous, that was my past.

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Jeep,
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I'm acutally sad to hear you say that you would only be friends with a woman who had a high number. Especially since you kept saying that a number is only a number. But I guess a number ISN'T a number with you....especially if she told you the truth. And that, is the reason I won't tell. Because, you want the truth, you DEMAND the truth or we risk losing you, and yet, when you HEAR the answer, you still don't want us, cuz you can't handle it? To me, that's such BS. That's being a total hypocrite.
You yell, "TELL ME THE TRUTH" or I'm outta here, but you also don't tell them, "IF YOUR NUMBER IS TOO HIGH", I could be outta here anyways. It's men like you that make me CHOOSE NOT TO TELL. Because no matter what, I lose. Because I have no idea where his cut off line is. It could be 5, 10, 20, 50, etc. Who knows.
I'm glad you're not my bf, because obviously, you wouldn't be around....all because you wouldn't feel special? Sorry, that just sucks. BUT, at least you know what you can and cannot handle. And walking away if you can't handle it, I respect that. But judging a person by their number, I have no respect for that. Especially if the person has changed SO VERY MUCH, you have no clue.
-T
So, to everyone, this is the EXACT reason I refuse to tell. I lose both ways. So, if I lose you because you HAVE to know, wahtevers. It just shows me you wn't be able to handle the truth anyways.
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tx,
I just wanted to say that I truly respect you for only wanting sex when you are in love. VERY FEW men actually do that. And the ones I have met who fall under that catagory, are always the ones that treat you like a queen.
Unfortunatley, they are also the ones that get walked on a lot.
Keep to your beliefs. As they are YOUR OWN.
We may not agree, but that is why I'd never be your gf, and you'd never be my bf, and that's perfectly fine with me. as it should be with you. =) I hope you have found, or can find a woman who is just like you.
-T
At any rate, I am (with Honey) very much an advocate of wonderful committed lovemaking in an LTR. She's a good example how a woman can hardly enjoy sex at all with someone unfamiliar, but then turn into an orgasmic volcano with someone she knows and loves( my DF is another example).
taoist
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This is so sad. In your life, the ppl you know, it's been about 60% of the time they cheat? Do you think, as my therapist said, then it's time to start looking at yourself, what you MAY be doing and WHY you choose the ppl you do. I'm not talking about you specifically, but why is it your friends pick ppl who would cheat? I firmly believe that when ppl cheat, something is wrong in the relationship. It just isn't a one-sided deal. <<
This is a statistic, not a representation of the people in his life. Yes it's sad, but that is an across the board statistic, not just from people in txguy's life ;o)
Leticia
1) Your post name Tigger, you must have kept some child like qualities. I own a Micky Mouse watch I wear on a regular basis.
2) You like sex. Much easier to deal with than a Miss Refrigerator.
3) You are committed in your relationships. Honest people are the ones I like around me.
4) You have compassion for other peoples feelings. It makes the world a better place to live when people care about others.
You are correct when you say that the dating world would be a tough place for me to be (I am reading between the lines). My daughter has told me the same basic thing. She said "dad there are just no guys out there like you". Your emotional make up puts you in a much better position to survive and enjoy life without getting hurt. A lot of the guys I know have been hurt to the point that I don't think that they can truly love a woman, and I am sure the same is true of some women. I am safe though, I met my wife at 24 years old. I called her up on the recomendation of one of my friends wives. I told her that I felt that I must meet her based on the wonderful things I had been told about her. Believe it or not she agreed to go out with me. We were engaged in 2 weeks, married in 3 months, and that has been a long time ago.
I am really very fond of women and you have helped me understand you. That will help me understand others. That is really very important when women bring a lot of beauty, love, laughter, and acomplishment to the world.
Edited 5/27/2004 9:55 am ET ET by txguy2004
I judge the person first, then the number. A 40 year old with 8 is definatly better than a 29 year old with 25. But a 29 year old with 25 is still better than a 30 year old with 40. It does make a lot of difference by age, but mostly by the way they look at sex in general. My SO has had casual relationships. Well, sort of. She dated a few guys, just for the sex. Nothing more. That is fine, but she had feelings for them at the same time. It was not just sex to her. It had some bigger meaning. The ones she had no feelings for, she did not enjoy as much, if at all. When she and I got in the discussion about this thread she said the same as me. Yes, the number matters, and yes, if the person cannot tell me, then he/she has something to hide. If I ask a direct question, regardless of what it is, I expect a direct answer, as I will always give a direct answer. Not telling, and hiding something after a direct question are the exact same thing in my opinion.
Yes, I agree. You make yourself feel special. Thank you. I make myself feel special when I am with my SO??? Hell no. She makes me feel special to her. I already know I am special, but knowing that she thinks I am special is what I am talking about. If she had 50 - 100 partners I would not feel like she thought I was special in any way. I would feel like one of the crowd. The memories she keeps of other men would cloud mine, and make me feel less significant. So, personal preference I guess, but to me the number matters greatly. It shows the character of the person to a greater detail than any other single thing does. If they value sex so little that it could be a past time, then they hold no value of sex with me, and that, in and of itself is enough for me to turn a shoulder and walk away.
If I were a woman??? Who knows how I would feel. I feel the way I feel because I am who I am. I was raised the way I was raised, and I have known and done the things I have. It is my outlook on life, my wants and my needs that are important to me. My SO is even secondary in many of those wants and needs. But, then again, she is far ahead of my own wants and needs in many of them to. I am sure that if I was a woman, I would be a virgin at 29 if I had not met the right guy yet. As far as casual sex, I would be much more guarded about who I was with, and who I actually slept with. And, if I was still very set on my standards, I would wait for marriage before even thinking about sex with a guy. But, as it stands, I would probably want some sort of relationship that meant something to me, before even attempting to have sex with them. As a woman. I am a man, so my views are slightly skewed, and yes, casual sex is fun, is all good, but it isn't for me, and it's never really been that great. Sure, I got off, and she had an orgasm. Big deal. It was no where near the power, pleasure, or contentment created by truly making love to another person, pouring your heart and soul into them, and having there fireworks be so powerful, that you can feel them while inside of them. I have never in my life known the joys of true love making till I met my current SO. Now, Casual sex is somethig we engage in together, for our mutual benefit, and we make love when we are alone.
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