Too Small For Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Too Small For Me
69
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 11:19am
The man I am living with and have recently became enagaged... Has a small penis, that I can not feel during intercourse. And I am bacoming physically unattracted to him, because of this issue.

The physical side of a realationship is important to me. Unfortunately this is missing. Everything else in the relationship is fine. But I feel this is a major concern.

Any suggestions?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 2:16pm
>>No one is argueing your opinion, they are just saying that maybe this guy needs a better woman. Maybe this guy needs someone who is tighter, less shallow, and much, much less worried about his physical issues, and more interested in him. That is all anyone here is really trying to say. I really feel bad for the little guys out there. There are to few women out there who don't care, and way to many that do.<<

Jeep can you clarify for me? Now, the OP came here asking for advice on what to do. She isn't getting much physical sensation, and has asked what to do. Isn't that the right attitude? She isn't asking whether or not to dump him, she wants help. Some of the women here have said they have been with small men, but I saw only one who offered advice. The rest have just called her shallow and took digs at her.(And BTW, you have criticized other for ganging up on someone, but here you are jumping on the bandwagon and defending it too) What would you suggest she do? Just sit back quietly and unsatisfied, or try to remedy the sitaution as she has? Are you a small guy? Perhaps you can tell her what has worked for you. I am just not understanding where the shallow part comes in. She is trying to fix this, how is that shallow?

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 2:35pm
****Now, the OP came here asking for advice on what to do. She isn't getting much physical sensation, and has asked what to do. Isn't that the right attitude? She isn't asking whether or not to dump him, she wants help.****

Where in her post did she ask for pointers on how to feel him better? I too thought she wanted suggestions on whether or not she's justified in dumping him. It's all in how you read it and not everyone will read it the same. If someone believes she's asking for suggestions on whether or not she should dump him based on the size of his penis, then they're going to answer accordingly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 2:43pm
OK, well then what part of it did you read as her wanting to dump him?

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 2:50pm

Well, let's see.


First of all, the twinkle in his eye. Um, that's phsyical. You drank? That's physical. You said you had great chemistry of your talking, well, for the most part, you're LOOKING at the man. Maybe you're not consciouly judging him, but one look at him, and most ppl can say they ARE or ARE NOT attracted to them. Not in a long term serious r;ship, but just, "hey he's good looking" even if it's WAY back in your head.


Secondly. I never said I wouldn't date someone that has a physical deformity, acts different or whatevers, so um, why not stop judging me? I have. He was a wonderful man. We just weren't compatible. I'm dating my bf. He's not physically all that attractive to me, but I love him nonetheless. I have been around "special needs" kids and they are so wonderful and so pure of heart. It's GREAT to see. I wish the whole world could be like that, but in reality, it's not.


So stop judging me. Because I already said I'm with a man I didn't find physically attractive, so that should prove my point that looks must not mean EVERYTHING to me. And I made that point, because the BIG population would NOT. Maybe you would, maybe a few others would, but for the most part, MOST WOULD NOT. Sad? Yes. Honest? Yes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 2:54pm

I think this all depends on how much sex means to a person....PHYSICALLY. Because I'm sorry. I was with a man who could do wonders with his mouth, but when it came down to his 2.5" penis, it just didn't do the job. Intercourse is more important to some ppl than just being satisfied/pleased.


So, I think everyone needs to acknowledge that, just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is pleasure.


For me. If a man can't satisfy me internally via intercouse with a vagina and penis. NO AMOUNT of oral or digit sex would make me happy, and I would either leave him or cheat. Is that sad? No, because I know what works for me, and I'd let him go to find a better suited person (sexually) for him and me. I think that's called CARING about yourself and the other person. It's not shallow.


What does it for me, may NOT do it for you. Everyone should remember that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 2:55pm
The whole thing:

*****And I am bacoming physically unattracted to him, because of this issue.

The physical side of a realationship is important to me. Unfortunately this is missing. Everything else in the relationship is fine. But I feel this is a major concern.****

If it's a major concern, and she's becoming unattracted to him, and the physical side is important and she feels that it's missing. Sounds as though she's resigned herself already and probably tried what little there is that can possibly be done.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 3:03pm
Then you would feel justified dumping your mate of 20 years if he all of sudden couldn't perform and nothing medically could help him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 3:31pm
>>If it's a major concern, and she's becoming unattracted to him, and the physical side is important and she feels that it's missing. Sounds as though she's resigned herself already and probably tried what little there is that can possibly be done.<<

Hmmm, then I guess I am still confused LOL. If you think she has done what can possibly be done, I still don't get how that is shallow. Ah well.

Leticia

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 4:11pm
My thoughts exactly. Why drag it out and make it more painful?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 4:39pm
She could work around this "problem" if she chose to...but if she's not willing, she'd be doing her fiance' a favor to dump him now. There's nothing he can do about his penis size.

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