Topless Sunbathing...1 more question
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| Wed, 10-18-2006 - 4:59pm |
I have read all the responses to my questions from my earlier post and I am surprised. I have read this board a long time and the women who respond here seem much more "liberated" than the general population. You seem more likely to have anal sex, swallow during oral sex (and like it), complain your man doesn't want sex enough, want to spice up your sex life, etc.
So I have been very surprised about the response to my questions about topless sunbathing. I thought there would be many more women engaging in it, enjoying it, and recommending my wife to try it. I would think tanning topless is much tamer than many of the things discussed on this board.
I don't understand. Why don't you enjoy sunbathing topless?
By the way, I won't ask my wife to do it either.

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I never said I didn't like it or that I wouldn't do it, but what me or anyone else would do or has done
They ARE pretty liberated, aren't they? I'm sure most of 'em would rip off their tops in a heartbeat.
At the same time, they all seem pretty keen on one principle, choice. They don't like the idea of a husband strong-arming or wheedling his wife into doing something she doesn't want to do.
Seriously, how would YOU feel if you wife wanted you to try ballet in front of a full audience . . . including wearing that little banana hammock outfit? You said no and she kept on with the, "aw, come on! You'd look so CUTE and you could really get in touch with your feminine side!"
My wife will NEVER be naked outside. EVER. I've never been on the receiving end of oral sex and undoubtedly never will. That's the woman I married and that's the way it is. Guilting her into something or bugging her until she does . . . just doesn't sound fair to me. Does it to you?
This wasn't about the women here.....it was about your wife. It doesn't matter if I would do it, because I'm not your wife. Your wife doesn't want to do it. THAT is what this is about. You'd like to see her do it....but unfortunately, she doesn't WANT to do it. This is about her right to do what she wants to do, or not do what she doesn't want to do.
If you'd asked the same questions about anal sex, the answers would be the same. If your wife refuses to do it, what difference does it make if all the women here enjoy it? The only woman you should be concerned with is your wife, and what SHE wants or doesn't want.
It doesn't matter what we enjoy or don't enjoy. It's your wife's choice NOT to do it, and you should respect that. I guess you got that, since you say you're not going to ask her again.
Well, number one, you cannot lump all the women on this board together. We're all individuals and we all have our own unique opinions on the subjects you listed. And personally, what I do in the privacy of my bedroom with my DH has no bearing on what I do in public.
If your wife is a private person, then she shouldn't be made to feel inhibited because she doesn't choose to bare her breasts in public. Her body, her choice.
>>I don't understand. Why don't you enjoy sunbathing topless?<<
What, exactly, is there to enjoy about it?
As the others have said, this is about choice. You've told her that you'd really enjoy seeing her do it, and it's at the point where if you suggest it again you'll sound like you are nagging her and getting pushy. Why she doesn't want to do it is really only something that she knows. Even then she may not be able to verbalise a specific reason. She may only be able to tell you that she doesn't want to do it and doesn't feel comfortable enough about it to do it.
Again, as the others have said, this would apply to any other sexual situation discussed here on the boards. Just because a person is happy to swallow cum and have anal sex in their bedroom doesn't mean that they will feel comfortable showing their breasts in public. Encourage a person to try new things by all means, but accept that they are not going to do it if you find yourself to the point of nagging them.
As I said in my reply to that thread, she may even "bite the bullet" and do it because she loves you and because YOU are acting as though you NEED this to be satisfied.
Just a heads up....she may do it "for you"; she may even think she is doing it for the good of the "relationship" but in the long run, she'll probably begin to resent you....particularly if you express your enjoyment of it. She may not even be aware that it is happening, until the resentment begins to rear it's ugly head. It may show up in areas that are unrelated....something that never bothered her before will all of a sudden irritate her. She may even stop wanting to have sex with you. This is how problems begin....and fester over time....and yes, can eventually destroy a union. She may NEVER tell you how she truly feels, because YOU closed off communication. You basically dismissed her feelings in favor of your own....that's what will nudge at her more than anything....
You may not "see" it this way, but in a nutshell, getting her to "cave in" is a form of control and manipulation....it's an exploitation of love....
I think there could be degrees of cultural acceptance at work here.
I'm Australian and going topless is legal on our beaches. I'd estimate that 1:5 women go topless or have at some time. I used to do it, but now that I've got kids, I don't.
Having said that, lots of Aussie guys wear speedos on the beach too. But from what I understand, the American attitude to speedos is less than favourable. Now, take the average American guy, put him on an Aussie beach and ask him to wear speedos. I bet the answer will be "no". Even if you try to explain that swimming without boardshorts is more comfortable, the answer will still be "no".
The topless issue is no different for your wife. The culture she lives in frowns upon topless bathing and it's what she knows and accepts.
By the way, my question to you is: would you wear speedos on an Aussie beach? If not, why not?
>>would you wear speedos on an Aussie beach?<<
Let alone wear a tiny blue pair of speedo's with SPANK written across the front in large yellow capitals....
LOL! Just reminds me of one of my Australian friends and what he would wear at the beach!
Agreed. I am the most private person ever, I would never do anything even mildly racy in public even though I do in private. My last bf wasn't at all modest, it just didn't dawn on him to be. I think it's how you're wired. We certainly went to a few clothes-optional beaches in our day, I was fully suited and he was naked and everything was A-OK. Heck, we were at a party and I can't quite remember the circumstances, it was on a deck on the second floor of a building and me and some of his friends were just hanging out and he pulled it out and peed off it, we were all just talking and I remember calmly watching while chitchatting with my pals, he wasn't embarrassed and I wasn't particularly embarrassed to have him do it. I however could never ever do anything remotely like that, i just am so uneasy about my privacy. (I think a little too much, i mean my girlfriends literally have a running joke about me wearing a swimsuit in the hot tub with them. Which i admit probably *is* a little wierd. I have a good body etc., i just don't want to share it with them.)
Long and short, you mustn't make her feel inhibited.
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