Touchy subject

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Touchy subject
26
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 11:18pm
I am a younger female, and about a year ago lost my virginity. Since then I have slept with three total men. None of these men I had been in relationships with, which I am totally fine with, stress free sex! The thing is, the third man I had sex with was my cousin. He was in his early twenties, me teens. First cousin. It was not at all planned, we were camping and it just happened. We have talked about it since, and we're both ok with it. The thing is, I have basically been in love with him since I knew how to love. We were and still are best friends, we have the same interests, we talk all the time, and he said that if we weren't related we would be together. Right now its just sex, we both know thats theres no possibility of a relationship. But we are both emotionally attatched to eachother and I dont know what to do. Most would think this as gross incest, but its not as abnormal to me, but I dont know what to think of it. I know that socially it will not be accepted, so we have kept it quiet. We are planning on have the same relations again. If you're going to rant and rave about how we have sinned, I'm agnostic so it wont work. I just want to know what people think of it. Thanks for listening.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: remana
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 10:34pm

Tons of Amish around here too, and yes, you're right, there is a higher degree of birth defects. But I also think that has to do with generations of inbreeding. Cousins marrying cousins who also marry cousins whose offspring marry cousins limits the gene pool considerably, thereby accentuating any abnormal chromosomes. One generation of cousin marriage wouldn't do it, but each succeeding generation will weaken considerably if the gene pool shrinks each time.

It's like horse breeding. You can breed two related horses (and it's done quite often), father/daughter or brother/sister, and get good horses. But at some point, there has to be new blood or the faults become much worse and the good points are lost.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: remana
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 10:38pm
Well thank you! And how have you been lately, anyway? Nice to see you back!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: remana
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:30pm

You're right.....it's all about genetics. The original studies on the Jukes and the Kallikak's were done on these two families that were isolated, and intermarried. Unfortunately, both families produced an inordinate amount of "feeble minded" offspring.

The opposite would be true....if both partners were perfect, and had perfect genes, then the offspring would also be perfect. Unfortunately, there are so many things that can go wrong with a baby genetically, there's no way to test for everything.

Incest is forbidden in most religions and civilized societies, but then the OP is an atheist, and unfortunately atheism doesn't take genetics into consideration. The OP doesn't sound like she's planning to have children, only to defy society. But then, there are unplanned pregnancies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
In reply to: remana
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:58pm
I'm actually doing much better than I have been. I had quadruple by-pass surgery back in May but I'm back to about 90%. I also have been coming around occasionally, but just to lurk. I finally decided that I had no business giving anyone advice on sex. I figured that I would only subject the people over on Guy Talk to my cynicism, LOL. So, how have you been doing?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: remana
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 10:30pm

Sorry to hear about your surgery but glad things are going well for you. I like to see old 'faces' show back up again. Same old-same old with me. New job (can't wait to find something else), everything else about the same.

"I finally decided that I had no business giving anyone advice on sex." Nah, you know you're always welcome here!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
In reply to: remana
Wed, 12-08-2004 - 6:04am
I also noticed ALOT of eye problems, crossed eyes, walled eyes, ect... in the Amish community. Many of the little kids wear glasses. And this effects the whole community, not just one or two families. You are SO right about the inbreeding.

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