Tried something new.....
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Tried something new.....
| Wed, 12-28-2005 - 4:51pm |
Dh has always asked me for anal sex. I have always refused. It was always my mind set that things don't go in there, they come out. Anyway, finally I agreed.
He seemed to really get into it and like it. After he told me so. Then I told him that surprisingly enough I liked it too, very much. He had even gone out and got this toy that has the length of a regular dildo but starts out (like where the tip would be or head of a penis)as a small round ball then a little bit bigger ball and then one bigger yet until the ball at the base is about the size/thickness of a normal size penis. I think that helped a lot, for me anyway.
So he was surprised I liked it so much. Since then he never wants to do it like that anymore. We've only done it again once and that was cuz I asked for it.
I'm not saying I want it like that all the time, hardly, but it would be a great surprise once in a while to do it regular and then to add the toy and then do it that way, mix it up a bit ya' know or something.
So why if he got soooo into it and liked it soooo much does he not ever want to do it anymore? I don't understand. It's like he liked it until I liked it too and now he doesn't like it anymore.
Any ideas what's going on there?














He doesn't want anal sex anymore or doesn't want to use the anal toy anymore?
He doesn't want to use either "there" anymore. I did ask him about it and he just says that he did really like it and gets all sexy acting and says we'll do it again soon, but then he never does.
Come to think of it though he hasn't used any of our toys since.
I just don't get it.
Hi,
I wouldn't worry about it too much. He may just need to get a little bit of a "jump start". Anal sex is one of those activities that takes time...there is a lot of "prep" work in the foreplay department and he may just be tired or not ready for a marathon session.
The next time that you have sex, consider teasing him a bit. When my wife wants anal, sometimes she'll put her bottom right up to my penis and do a little bump and grind. Of course, I know that I can't just "go for it", but it gets me revved up enough to want to take the time because the reward is best in the end (pun intendid).
Peace,
Scott.
I very much appreciate your post Scott, but I am left confused. It's the: "He may just need to get a bit of a jump-start"...."one of those activities that takes time....there's alot of prep work in the 4play dept."......"marathon session"........"consider teasing him a bit"...."I know I can't just "go for it", but".
I'm thinking there's something to it that I am clueless about. Are you telling me my dh needs extra special prep time, 4 play, get more than normal excited in order to do this?
Like I said we had never done this b4. It's all new to me. The thought had never crossed my mind that dh would need to go into this any dif from going into vag. sex.
It makes sense though, with the extra hours the holidays put on him at work the last month or so and the holiday season itself that, if needing extra time and attention, he just didn't feel up to it.
Well, I'm sorry but that explanation about "needing extra time" and "prepping" didn't really make any sense to me. My ex was not very enthused about anal sex. She had experience with several other men before me and had done it only because they wanted it and had not enjoyed it. Then when I came along, as she put it, she was afraid of being hurt with any kind of sex when she saw my size. BTW, I am not huge, she just had experience with men that apparently were quite small.
Anyway, she did indeed enjoy it so much with me that she would get so aroused just from me telling her to go get the jelly that her lubrication would start running down her legs. And I did not go through all of the "prepping" that people talk about. I didn't use progressively larger and larger toys to open her or take a long time to enter. I was careful and gentle and used lots of lubrication, though. My point being that she found it immensely enjoyable without lots of preparation.
I wonder if his fantasy of it exceeded the reality. When he finally got it, he found that it wasn't exciting like he thought it would be.
The only suggestion that I have is to find a way to "mine" his fantasies and find out what he had expected. Maybe on the pretext of getting YOU in the mood, ask him to tell you an erotic story about anal sex. Ask him to close his eyes and make it some anonymous woman (that might allow him to not think of you in that scenario). Then while he's telling you the story, you would masturbate him or perform oral sex on him to help him get more in touch with his fantasy of what anal sex.
If he did that, then you would have a good chance of finding out what he had expected of anal sex. Maybe you could figure out what wasn't there that he wanted.
Whatever happens, it does seem to me that something didn't go right for him with the experience.