To try or not to try?
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 06-06-2006 - 2:11pm |
My DH and I have been together for ten years and we have a great sex life. The only thing we have never tried is anal sex. He has talked about it quite a few times over the years and I know that he would love to try it. Me on the other hand, Im not so sure. The whole idea of it and the very thought of it terrifies me! It took us so long just to
accomplish things vaginally without me being in pain. I think back on those things and I could never imagine anal sex being anything but painful.
Let me explain. DH is very gifted in the package department and other than the missionary position, in the beginning everything else was very uncomfortable or painful. With time and patience we were able to work through it and now we can have intercourse in almost any position. This is why Im terrified. I mean I cant imagine how it would feel or how his penis would even fit without hurting me. He would never intentionally hurt me but it still scares me.
On the other hand I think maybe it wont be so bad. Im always up for trying new things and we are all about pleasing eachother and being happy with eachother, and I know giving it a try would definitely make him happy. Its just getting up the nerve to give into my "fear" that im having the hardest time with.
DH and I talked about it the other night and as always he is understanding of my feelings and he always tells me that doing this is not important and things are great the way they are. I know he genuinely means that but I also know he is very interested in trying this.
I dont know whether to try it out or not. What do you think?
Toots:)

I think you're the one who has to decide if you'll do it or not. He said it's not that important, so take his word for it.
If he's well endowed, then there's no question that it'll hurt. It hurts for everyone in the beginning.....but some say that the "rewards" are well worth it.....because once it's in, it doesn't hurt so much. You also have to know it can be very messy.....we all know what's in the colon. It doesn't bother some people, I guess.
Do some research on line about anal sex, and know what you're doing before you try it. LOTS of lubrication, start with one finger, two fingers, three, etc. until you think you're relaxed.
Also, nasty infections can be transferred from the colon to the vagina, so he has to be careful to wash carefully before he touches you anywhere else with his hand or his penis.
I guess you should try it once, and see what you think. That's the only way you'll know if it's for you, or not for you.
My DH and I just recently started having anal regulary after being together for almost 9 years. I was scared about it at first, but we took our time and before he used his penis, he would use a well lubed finger. He would also lick it a lot and I guess just get me used to having it touched.
You really need a good lube. We use astroglide. And use a LOT of it. You need to be relaxed, which I know is hard to do when you're nervous about doing something new, but it goes in easier that way. The first time we did it, it did hurt a little bit, but only going in. Once he was all the way in, I was ok, and just had him move really slow at first. It helps if you kind of push out when he's putting it in so that it will go in easier. You will probably feel like you have to poop, but you won't. Just make sure before you do this that you don't need to.
So, if it's something you want to do, just take your time with it, use lots of lube and try to relax. What helps me loosen up is while he's putting it in, he will rub my clit and that feels really good, especially once he's in there.