Ummm...help, advice, something, please

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Ummm...help, advice, something, please
6
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 9:00pm

I need to think this all out and get it down to hopefully figure it out. I love sex, and I love it more with my fiancée, but I often have issues. We’ll be getting going good, and suddenly my stomach cramps. There isn’t a pattern to it that I can find, some nights I’ve eaten more recently than other nights, its not always near the time of the month or any other consistent factors to it. Other nights when he is in me there is a pressure down there that makes me feel like I need to go to the restroom, but as soon as he pulls out, its gone. On the nights that we’re lucky neither of those things happen and its going sooooo good and I even start building to a big g-spot orgasm, I can’t get there. Because all I feel is like I have to go pee, but I also feel like if I could just let go and relax enough, it would be the biggest damned orgasm I’ve ever had. And I would really like to get to that big O.


I also have a thing where I will be horny, but I won’t feel horny enough to want to have sex. It would be great if I could get to where I can figure out how to take that little hornyness and turn into a big one, simply so we can have sex more often, especially since neither of us is truly satisfied with how often its occurring now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 9:22pm

Welcome to the board, keeyamah.

You seem to be having several unrelated issues going on. First, sex shouldn't cause you pain or cramping. It seems you have tried to see if anything is consistent about that, and thus far, you haven't found anything. If it continues to make you feel stomach cramps, you should see your gyn to rule out any health issues that could be causing the cramping.

On the issue of feeling like you need to pee during g-spot stimulation, that is what it feels like when women ejaculate (FE). For most women, they have to get their mind into that. Realizing that it's not pee is the first step in being able to let go ... and let it happen. If you can relax and go with the feelings and sensations you are having, then it is possible that you will FE and hopefully have a g-spot orgasm as well. (The two are not the same.) It's also helpful to make sure your bedding is protected because there will be a lot of fluid. It's also still possible to have a g-spot orgasm without ejaculating. The best way to experience any type of orgasm is to NOT think about it, just enjoy what's happening and see where it leads you. Keep your mind on what you are feeling -- in a good way, and then just let nature take its' course.

As to the frequency of sex between you and your BF, try seducing each other outside of the bedroom, throughout the day, or trying new things together. A lot of things can zap your energy (work, stress, being tired, etc.), but often you can overcome that with your own attitude. Sex can be like work -- tiring and stressful, or it can be a lot of fun -- which will help to relieve stress and give you a new and different type of energy. Often, it's all about what your mind associates the event with.









... and ...




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 2:28pm
This might be a personal ? for you but is he larger than average. If he is that could be causing the pressure and making you feel like you need to go to the bathroom. As far as the cramping try to relax and if that dont work maybe you should go see you gyn. It might not be anything but it should be something to get checked out to ease
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 8:12am
just a little tid bit from personal experience, my dh had similar issues with the cramping during or immediately following sex especially if she had great orgasm. Come to find out during her hysterectomy surgery that she had done in late november that dr found endometriosis on her stomach lining that most likely caused a great deal of her cramping. since surgery what orgasms she has had from me manually stimulating her since we haven't been cleared for sex by dr yet, no cramping at all during or after and she says her orgasms have been much more intense after hyster best of luck to you hope everything works out ok. Oh and don't worry very good possibility wouldn't have to have hysterectomy simply because of endometriosis dh had to have it b/c of fibroids on uterus and during surgery also found cyst on her tubes thankfully we have 2 beautiful children already and I already had vasectomy after second child born
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 11:22am
Welcome to the board, mryota, and thanks for joining in.




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 12:18pm

I can think of a couple of reasons for the cramping. My GF had this issue once and it turned out to be trapped air in her vagina. Oral sex before insertion was the culprit....

Also if your SO has a longer penis than average "over 6 inches" he could be hitting your cervix or putting pressure on your bladder which can cause cramping. Try limiting his thrusts with your thighs in the missionary position and see if this helps.

Muscle cramps can often be prevented with Potassium supplements. People who work out or are really physically active often take extra Potassium for this.

"I can’t get there. Because all I feel is like I have to go pee"

So do it! I bet you climax so hard you pass out. My GF does this and it totally rocks!
I think this is what is called a squirting orgasm but I'm not really sure. All I know is that we both love it because it feels so good and wish we could do it every time.

good luck
-=ad0be=-

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 8:11pm
Thank you all for your help and advice. I am working on getting through the thought that its not really a need to go pee, but I have a feeling its going to take a while. With all of the other pressure, I think I'm just going to have to teach myself to ignore it, since he is a bit longer than average. But
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