Unable to keep erection
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Unable to keep erection
| Sun, 01-07-2007 - 6:44pm |
I am 22 years old and lost my virginity recently(yes pathetic), however I wasnt able to maintain an erection for very long periods of time and i did not finish. At first I was unable to find the hole and put it in! This was extremely embarassing. I had some liquor before this, however I wasnt that drunk, just a strong buzz. I had a little bit of marijuana earlier in the day. Would that be enough to prevent me from having an erection, or maybe my nervousness. There was only a bit of foreplay so maybe that? Please help, if i get another chance i dont want to humiliate myself once again.

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As everyone else keeps telling you, this is NOT abnormal! And it IS your anxiety that's doing it!
Have you shared the fact that you're inexperienced with your g/f? If not, then that's what you have to do. You said she questioned if it was her fault, which leads me to believe she's also inexperienced.....because that's what women do when they don't understand something like this. They immediately think it's something they're doing wrong, and of course, it's not.
The fact that she was too tight is NOT because she's "petite".....it's because she's also nervous, and there wasn't enough foreplay to relax HER....and probably there wasn't enough natural lubrication, either.
You do NOT need Viagra......that's for men who have a physical problem and can't GET erections. You get them just fine, it's just that you worry yourself into losing them.
BOTH of you need to just relax, and let nature take it's course. Don't start out thinking about whether you'll last, just enjoy being with her, enjoy the foreplay, and let it happen. If you lose it, she can always help you get it back!
Part of what's going on is called a "self fulfilling prophecy". You worry so much that it will happen, that you MAKE it happen!
I can't remember if I gave you this link before, but in case I didn't, then here's something for you to check out: www.the-clitoris.com There are pictures, and there's a lot of information about women and their bodies, and their sexual needs. Maybe if you're more informed, you'll have more confidence in yourself.
The most important thing is to stop worrying about it. The more you worry, the more it will happen. It happens to most men at one time or another, even very experienced men. Talk to your g/f, tell her you need her help, and both of you can just relax, and allow it to happen. RELAX!
You are all right I do need to stop worrying, its easier said then done. She has more experience than me for sure, and I have told her I am inexperienced and that has helped. There was enough foreplay this time so it wasnt that. A big part of it is my fear Im not living up to her past boyfriends in that area and I need to stop thinking about that, if anything shes starting to like me too much(shes already starting to use the word love and thats just a whole other pressure).
Basically I need to stop thinking.
And cl-issytish, I really didnt think much of this girl quite honestly and just wanted a sexual relationship. I didnt feel anything emotionally towards her at first and I had a picture of her as shallow(ironic since I was the one being shallow), until she surprised me by comforting me and staying.
Edited 1/12/2007 6:39 pm ET by metalocolypse2007
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