Uncomfortable .. NEED OPINIONS!!!!!
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| Wed, 12-22-2004 - 10:19pm |
Ok, to start off, here in Ohio, we've gotten like 8 inches of snow. So the roads are pretty bad. My boyfriend works about 40 minutes away, and he would leave work at 10 tonight and go back up tomorrow at 9. His mom felt worried, and offered to pay for a hotel, but there were some problems, and she couldn't hook it up. So a girl our age at his work offers for him to stay the night at her and her parents place. When he told me this, I said I felt uncomfortable, because I don't know this girl at all, and asked him if he could just charge the room to his credit card, and have his mom pay him back. He said it was ridiculous to spend 40 bucks on a hotel when he can get room for free at this girls house. Then he proceeded to treat me like the most horrible person in the world for telling him I felt uncomfortable.
So now I'm so frustrated I'm in tears, not because he's actually staying the night there, but because of how he didn't understand at all where I was coming from. He treated me like I was a horrible, jealous, bitch of a girlfriend for feeling a bit uncomfortable. He said if the situation were reversed, he'd be fine with it and never think twice.
Was I wrong for feeling a little uncomfortable about this?

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Nancy
I agree. It's a matter of trust, either you trust him or you don't. I live in Ohio too, and we've got 12" right now, and they're telling people to stay off the roads if they don't HAVE to be out. I just saw the news, and there are cars off the road everywhere.
If it was me, I'd be very thankful my b/f didn't have to be on the roads risking his life.
Your tears are justified...not because he was 110% wrong, but simply because it really IS the worst feeling in the world when your best partner misunderstands you like this, especially in a situation like this.
For me & Mrs. Para, you betcha! We'd be hoteling it every single time if we could afford it. If something makes her or me uncomfortable like this, then we respect each other enough to spend the dough if need be.
Your bf could benefit from you explaining that part. You see, EVEN IF he could prove that you were being irrational, even if he could prove it, THAT doesn't matter, because he respects you more than himself, and if you feel more comfortable with him at the hotel, then thats that.
Not all couples will treat each other that way, but in my opinion, why would they even be together if they didn't? I'd pretty much tell him who cares about who's right or wrong, even if you're wrong, you're being honest enough to let him know you're uncomfortable...and you're trusting him enough to share that fear with him.
Just my opinion...oh, and Mrs. Para's too.
C h a r a c t e r
above all else
Mr. Para
C H A R A C T E R
Thank you, I appreciate someone seeing it my way. I mean, of course, I'd rather him be shacked up in Sidney rather than driving dangerous roads to be home. And it's not a question of trust or not. The thing is, rather than spending $40 in which his mother offered to pay for him, he is sleeping over at a girl's house whom I don't know at all. Now, I'm sure, all you ladies out there, if your guy called you up to let you know he's passing up the option to stay at a hotel to spend the night at a girl's house who you've never even heard of, I'm sure you'd feel uncomfortable too.
What upset me was that he told me that I had no reason to feel uncomfortable. He said that if the situation were reversed, he'd be fine with it. And because HE feels that way, the way I feel is not justified. It was extremely frustrating and it set me off big time.
You are entitled to your opinion, however, I felt you were trying more to slap me in the face it rather than help me.
As far as the rest of you, thanks for your advice. I guess I'll just talk to him tomorrow about trying to understand where I'M coming from. Hopefully next time he'll be able to explain the situation to make me feel comfortable with it, rather than blowing up at me, and just frustrating me. =P
Edited 12/23/2004 2:10 am ET ET by x1moreaddiction
I would feel exactly the same as you! Its not a good idea...and someone else said here that he should respect you and your feelings and its true. I can understand your bf doesnt completely understand you though, after all, he IS a guy and sometimes some guys (Im being carefull here)just really dont understand the mind of a woman. But, it doesnt matter, its not necessary to understand you, its necessary to respect your feelings. I wouldnt take it too much out of proportion with him though, because then next time he may think: Im not telling her cos she is over reacting, and then...you would feel much much worse, wouldnt you! I hope he doesnt do it, it would be best for you both, Im sure of it!
Good luck! Merry merry Christmas!
Samie
PS: someone said 'he is not even your husband' but what is that for statement??
Cos to me, and I hope many more people, it doesnt matter one thing if Im married or not how I am treating my partner in a relationship (and how I want to be treated)---respect, honesty, faithfulness etc!
No one can say if you were right or wrong for being upset with him staying at this girls house because they are your feelings.
Ok, not on that occasion....but, what if it was someone else, where there was chemistry or whatever...Anyway, I trusted on of my exes completely and he me, and we still cheated on eachtother (both once) And I HATE cheating, lying etc !! So, I know, IT HAPPENS! This is the world now, dont deny it.
Samie
I'm not denying some people do cheat, it's been going on a long time, the world *now* has nothing to do with it.
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