uncomfortable with sex
Find a Conversation
uncomfortable with sex
| Tue, 01-01-2008 - 1:45am |
my first experience was crazy...my male friend at the time threatened to force me so i agreed with it but he still held me down. and our sex life was like that until last year...but i am not comfortable with it at all. he's into that dominatrix stuff and i am scared to death...i am not with him anymore but i cannot see myself being with anyone else...i am afraid that when i do marry a man i would satisfy him sexually. what do you think?

Edited 1/1/2008 8:30 am ET by now_finally
What happened to you is called RAPE!
Welcome to the board, reneeshai.
I agree with what the other members have said. Getting yourself some counseling will be the best step you can take in putting this bad situation behind you. First, you want to heal from what happened, and also, you want to make sure you don't repeat the same sort of pattern.
Having sex in a loving and caring relationship is nothing like what you have experienced, and it is something you should be able to look forward to -- and experience.
Crisis Center: Rape & Suicide
Sexual Abuse Healing
You'll find very helpful and knowledgeable CLs on both of those boards. Often, they can direct you to help in your local region as well.
I agree with the other's, you were raped and you should get yourself professional help for it so you can live have a healthy sexual relationship with another man.
I truly feel for you and your situation. I was sexually abused as a child, date raped as a teen and physically and emotionally abused in an adult relationship. Needless to say it messed me up emotionally and affected my self esteem, relationships and mental state. I finally went to the extreme of just not dating for over 5 years which made me feel "safe". I thought I could never trust a man to touch me or love me. A months ago I met a man who is patient, attentive and kind. After our first few attempts at intimacy failed due to my nerves and anxiety I told him about my past history. He said he wasn't going anywhere and would give me all the time I need. A few weeks later we were intimate and it gets better each time. He understands me lack of knowledge of sex positions and stuff and is slow and patient every step of the way.
I never ever thought I could be intimate or trust another man again, much less have a normal relationship with a man with all my hang ups and history, but there is hope if you find the right man.
Hi Savi, Thanks for telling your story. I'm so happy for you.
Will you please do me a huge favor? Please fill in your profile so we can know something about you. Thanks a million!