Understanding the schoolgirl fantasy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
Understanding the schoolgirl fantasy
2
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 7:38am
I am trying to understand the workings of the schoolgirl fantasy. Many of you are saying that it has to do with your first sexual experience/schoolgirl crush. Someone mentioned it usually occurs at around 13 years(puberty) of age.

Here you have this 13 year old boy fantasizing sexually about a girl(s) in his class. He grows older, and older, and older. He's is now 50. Is he still fantasizing about those girls? The reason I ask is because I am a woman who is in her thirties, and I fooled around(and orgasmed) with two neighborhood boys(at separate times) when I was 11 and 12. Although when I was very young, I did think about them, as I have matured, I stopped(not consciously). I have not fantasized or thought about them, nor have I ever associated the flannel pajamas that one wore, or the bathing suit that the other wore with any of my current fantasies or adult partners. My fantasies have matured along with me. I can't begin to try and think about those young boys and what occurred. Although I remember what happened, arousal is the last thing on my mind; they are now children to me. I can't see it as any different than if I should currently pick out any eleven year old boy and fantasize about him. That is being sexually aroused by children.

Help me to understand. When an adult, wants an adult partner to wear her hair in pig tails, dress in a school uniform, and talk little girl talk, is it because he has kept that fantasy alive(and the accompanying arousal)? Someone said that this whole fantasy is based on a 13 year old crush(es). All well and good, but do those fantasies ever mature? Isn't fantasizing about those children, relative?

This is basically a 'why' question. I know many people think that the 'why' is not important, but I think it is. It helps to de-mystify life and remove the fear of the unknown. Thanks to anyone who can help me understand.






Edited 11/6/2004 9:23 am ET ET by fantasticfanatic

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 9:35am
First, you have to understand what a fantasy is. According to Webster: "A creation of the imagination; whimsical notion; a mental image, especially when odd; a supposition based on no solid foundation." Don't confuse it with a fetish, which is: "Any object or part of the body, which arouses sexual interest." Some men are turned on by feet, or high heeled shoes. That's not a fantasy.....that's a fetish, and they can't become aroused without that stimulus.

Many people, male and female, fantasize. Maybe in a 50 year old man, it's just the thought of the "forbidden".....being with a young girl. It doesn't necessarily reflect on what he did as a young boy. Maybe it just makes him feel young....to think that a young girl would be interested in him. How about a "nurse" fantasy? Maybe they were in a hospital, and imagined what it would be like to have the nurse give him sexual favors. Lots of women fantasize about being with their favorite movie or TV star. It's not that they ever WERE with them....it's just a fantasy.

Asking why is probably futile...because I'm sure everyone has different reasons for fantasizing. Bottom line, if you're not comfortable with fulfilling someone's fantasy, you can always refuse. If he can't perform without that fantasy, then he's got a problem, not you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 5:07pm
It's not particularly about the actual crushes, or the specific girl. I can still remember being at school and dating girls that wore school uniforms. As a young and very horney teenager I thought about sex constantly and some of these girls provided plenty of material for my masturbatory fantasies (some of the female teachers did too but that's a whole different thing!). They also provided some of my first sexual experiences.

While I don't have any fantasies about schoolgirls myself, I certainly have some fond memories relating to them. I can remember very clearly some images like the edge of a lace bra and the swell of a breast showing between the buttons of a white uniform blouse. Or of my g/f's uniform skirt puddled on the carpet of my bedroom with discarded panties lying on top of it. Just thinking about it now makes me smile and slightly aroused. I guess that a fetish is just taking that a bit further and being strongly aroused by it when presented by those triggers.

This doesn't mean that if I see a schoolgirl that I suddenly get aroused by them. Nothing is further from the truth.

I guess the fetish just develops from that - when you were 15 you discovered that some images aroused you and you masturbated to them. Over time the images retain their power to arouse you.