Use it or lose it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2007
Use it or lose it?
4
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 9:15am

I have a question that came to my mind after my boyfriend said something wierd to me over the weekend. We were talking about masturbation and he told me that he rarely masturbates anymore. He said he used to practucaly every day when he was younger but he is now almost 38 and he might do it every three weeks or so. I have no reason to doubt his honesty but I did ask him why he rarely does it. He said he thought it would make it more difficult to get erections and come when we are together. Now, I have always heard that when it came to the male organ and sex drive you need to "use it or lose it"


What I want to know is if there is truth in this statement. I do know that he was away for two weeks and when we got together he didn't stay very hard. He did come but he only got hard a few seconds before orgasm.


Does anyone know the answer to this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 9:49am
Has he had his testosterone checked? Both a lack of interest in masturbation and difficulty maintaining an erection could be related to low testosterone levels.

In general, the longer it's been since a man's last orgasm, the greater his interest in sex should be and the more easily he should be able to get an erection. I'm 45, and if I go for more than a couple of days without getting off then a stiff breeze is enough to get me thinking about sex and responding accordingly.







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 10:49am

I don't think "use it or lose it" is a real issue, but I do think the older *most* guys get, the less frequently they masturbate -- especially if they have a satisfying partnered sex life. Also, each person has their own libido, and his may not be as high as the next guys.

Often, if a guy does masturbate frequently, it can cause problems for them when they want to have partnered sex. Again, each person is different, but there is typically a period of time between erections, which varies and usually increases with age.

If he's not having trouble getting and maintaining an erection on a regular basis, then most likely everything is normal for him. If he is having trouble on a fairly regular basis, and he's not masturbating frequently, then he should get checked out by his doctor. He could have low testosterone, or he could be having problems with erectile dysfunction (ED).













my partner in the siggy exchange




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2007
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 1:51pm

Thanks Steve and Misty!


The next question I have for you then is how do I get him to go see a doctor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 2:20pm

Maybe you should share some research facts with him. Instead of presenting it as something that concerns you for sexual reasons, present it as something that concerns you for medical reasons. If he's not seen a doctor in 7 years, setting up an appointment for a check-up is a good idea anyway.

You can discuss the possibility of low testosterone and or ED. Both have been linked to diabetes. Heart disease is linked to testosterone, and medications for heart disease are linked to ED. There really are a lot of valid reasons to be concerned from a health standpoint, and talking with his doctor can quickly rule out any possible medical problems. Here are some articles that can help you get started:

How Stuff Works: Erectile Dysfunction
http://health.howstuffworks.com/how-erectile-dysfunction-works2.htm

Wikipedia: Erectile Dysfunction
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erectile_dysfunction

Net Doctor: Impotence
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/impotence.htm

Medicine Net: Causes of Impotence
http://www.medicinenet.com/impotence_ed/page2.htm#cause

Mayo Clinic: Erectile Dysfunction
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/DS00162/DSECTION=3

iVillage Total Health: Erectile Dysfunction Affects 18 Million US Men
http://health.ivillage.com/di/dinews/0,,wbnews_b6skrsst,00.html

Of course, you don't want to bring this up while you're being intimate, or just after he has difficulty. Find a time when you can talk to him outside of the bedroom, and in a way that let's him know you're concerned about his overall health.

Good luck talking with him, and let us know how it goes.













my partner in the siggy exchange