Vaginas: size and variation

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Vaginas: size and variation
42
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 4:53pm
I'm starting this conversation after reading humpdaddy's poll below about "how much penis is too much?" It's interesting, because it does vary. The popular official answer that experts give about women's anatomy is that vaginas are pretty much created equal and vary in size very little. They'll demonstrate that a vagina can stretch tremendously as in childbirth and then shrink again.

But, if you ask a man that has had a few lovers, he KNOWS that women vary in size and capacity as much as men's penises vary in size...and we all know that men do vary in size quite a bit. Quoting humpdaddy: "In my experience vaginas come in different depths just as penises come in different lengths."

I know this from talking to other women, too. I have a friend who told me (embarrassed) that if a penis isn't huge, she almost can't even feel it, and the only penises that satisfy her are enormous. (She had two vaginal births.) I'm the opposite. Although I'm 5'6" and not small-boned (more like average in overall size), I'm very tight and small down there. (I've had one c-section birth so no baby has passed through.) Men have exclaimed about the tightness several times in my sexual experience. My hubby, most especially. I never knew this about myself (or ever would have thought it) until former boyfriends said it. The first time we made love, he looked amazed and wide-eyed and said, "You are as tight as an 18 year old!" He still comments on it to this day. His ex's vagina was loose/bigger.

So, I've wondered for years...does childbirth sometimes, or maybe often, change a woman's vaginal size? Often, breasts sag after nursing, we all know that. What about the other?

I wonder if some young women and/or never-had-babies women sometimes have bigger vaginal canals, too?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 9:50am
Many people, men and women, who agree that vaginas vary a good deal in length, "width" (tigntness, really), and just overall size, have had long-term relationships in which they'd know many states of arousal with their partner. You seem to be assuming these were all short-term or one night stands. My 30-year-old friend was married for years, and she never could really "feel" her husband, according to her.

You said you never hear of such a thing, complaints from people. They're there. Men would never tell their partner of course, if he thinks she's looser than other women he's been with, no more than we'd tell our man that he's smaller. Most women prefer a certain size of course (we all have different preferences), but still women tell men "size doesn't matter, honey". Men would say the same thing to a woman. ;-D Have you ever heard terms like loosey goosey? People do talk about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 10:13am
....as I understand it, most men on average orgasm within three to five minutes of intercourse...

Wow, that would be quite dissapointing for me! I haven't heard that being the average. In a medical journal, I read the average is 14 minutes. Even that seems a short time, though. Men can do much better with practice and certain strategies. My hubby and I have intercourse for a long time and in different positions before his orgasm. I'm very appreciative, because I have vaginal orgasms and the longer we go, the more and better mine are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 10:34am
Actually the term "loose" was borne out of ignorance. A woman was labeled "loose" if she slept around(insinuating that her vagina was stretched), which we know IS a myth. It was probably another control tactic to keep women in line sexually. Same with childbirth and large peni..."Who'd want a large penis if it was going to make you loose forever?" ;-)

Did your friend go her whole marriage without him orgasming from intercourse? I'm assuming that's the case since he was not getting the proper stimulation? If so, it's not the end of the world to be without intercourse. I'f DH became impotent, I'd improvise.

Please don't assume to KNOW what MY preference would be. I prefer a good man; his penis size would be irrelevant...and even if I had a tiny man, I wouldn't go around making fun of him, nor any other man who was...just as I think that the term "loose" shouldn't be thrown around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 10:45am
I didn't say a woman would reject a man, or make fun of a man, because of the size of his penis. Not even *choose* a man for the size of his penis. I've loved and accepted a man with a 4" (erect) penis in the past, before I met my husband. I had my first vaginal orgasm with the man with a 4" penis. You are twisting my words.

I said that women have "preferences" where penis size is concerned. A woman can love steak and she can love lobster, but maybe she prefers one over the other. Men have all kinds of preferences too, and seem very interested in breast size and even the color and length of a woman's hair as one being more preferable or attractive to him than another...but he can and does still love and accept the one that he loves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 10:54am
In one of your posts, you commented on how your DH compares you to his ex. How much tighter you are. Well....I equate that to comparing penis size as well. I just wouldn't compare past lovers to my DH and I would not appreciate him comparing me to others, even if I were the better of them. You obviously discuss these things with you DH, I don't. My DH still doesn't know the sizes of the other men I had.
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anonymous user
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 2:17pm
Free you seem to be the one assuming things here ..Such as I have this obsession with the size of peoples genitals..In fact I was comparing this sites responces to the exact same ones done on the ivillage uk site. Interesting note..the American women seem to like bigger penises than the Brits...lol. All I can say about women and the size of their vaginas(BASED ON MY EXPERIENCES) is even at full arousal there are some women who are much larger than others. There are also some women who do not accommindate a thick penis very well. Please dont tell me that a woman 4`11 will always have a vagina as large as a woman who is 6`3...That has not been my experience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 2:26pm
I didn't tell you anything, Hump...the experts did(and I agreed that the variation is in depth, just not width). I'm average so I can't compare myself, but I have friends who are 4.11 and 5.1 and they can accommodate large dildos and have passed babies too. I also have friends who are tall, that couldn't accommodate a long penis, but had no problem with feeling a smaller one too. Again, according to the experts, the variation is in depth....not width unless there's been some injury or there is a hormonal deficiency. If neither has been diagnosed, then the most likely culprit is amount of arousal(of both the man and woman)or too much lubrication. Women fake orgasms, Hump, or they CAN orgasm clitorally with minimal arousal. So just because a woman does orgasm, doesn't mean that the she was ready for intercourse. So now, you're making the assumption that body "type" or "height" has a bearing on how tight a woman is...I think that's as mythical as a woman believing that a man who is 6'7 will have a long penis, or a man who is 5'4 having a small one. There's really no correlation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 3:01pm
Again, you are making massive assumptions that just aren't true.

You said, "In one of your posts, you commented on how your DH compares you to his ex. How much tighter you are. Well....I equate that to comparing penis size as well."



I never said that my husband outright compared me to his ex. From the first time we made love, he just got wide-eyed, made an exclamation, and commented about my tightness in a sort of amazed way. It was just by his reactions and obvious enthusiasm about it that I realized there must be quite a difference. He's VERY complimentary of the way we fit, if you want to put it that way.

"I just wouldn't compare past lovers to my DH and I would not appreciate him comparing me to others, even if I were the better of them."

There are all kinds of subtle ways that people convey a comparison to others without being offensive. Just simple reactions give it away sometimes, too (like above example). If you don't want to hear comparisons (even complimentary ones) from your husband, that's fine. Why should you care if others have discussed it, or have had a positive comparison? One of the loveliest compliments I've ever gotten from my husband was based on a comparison, when he's told me that I'm the best lover he's ever had. That's a thrilling thing for many people to hear from the one they love. He's gotten the same *honest* compliment from me, too.

"You obviously discuss these things with you DH, I don't. My DH still doesn't know the sizes of the other men I had."

If you are inferring that my husband knows the sizes of other men I've had, you're wrong. He doesn't. *I* didn't know their actual sizes...I've never measured a man before or been told by him. That being said, if some couples openly talk about that and both are fine with it, it doesn't bother me in the least.

You seem very offended by this whole discussion. We all *know* what the experts say about a woman's size. I think I stated it right in the first post. We're talking about our experiences and personal knowledge which prove otherwise to us. Can you argue that we've experienced what we've experienced? You weren't there. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 3:24pm
I'm not offended, it's just that there's a lot of ignorance regarding women's vagina's, and their amazing abilities.

I didn't assume. From your first post:....

"You are as tight as an 18 year old!" He still comments on it to this day. His ex's vagina was loose/bigger.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 3:47pm
....and I don't know your age, but the very fact that your SO mentioned that you're AS TIGHT as a teenager, proves the point. My DH tells me that I feel no different than when we first began having sex when I was 19(twenty seven years and two children later)...and my own feelings during intercourse prove this. There may come the day when I lose estrogen and become less elastic and his erections will slowly decline....and if intercourse becomes much less appealing, we'll continue to have sex in whatever capacity would suffice.

In this thread alone, there were women who are NOT teenagers and who have had multiple children have confirmed that their vagina's have been unchanged with age, and that includes you(I don't know your age).