Vaginas: size and variation

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Vaginas: size and variation
42
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 4:53pm
I'm starting this conversation after reading humpdaddy's poll below about "how much penis is too much?" It's interesting, because it does vary. The popular official answer that experts give about women's anatomy is that vaginas are pretty much created equal and vary in size very little. They'll demonstrate that a vagina can stretch tremendously as in childbirth and then shrink again.

But, if you ask a man that has had a few lovers, he KNOWS that women vary in size and capacity as much as men's penises vary in size...and we all know that men do vary in size quite a bit. Quoting humpdaddy: "In my experience vaginas come in different depths just as penises come in different lengths."

I know this from talking to other women, too. I have a friend who told me (embarrassed) that if a penis isn't huge, she almost can't even feel it, and the only penises that satisfy her are enormous. (She had two vaginal births.) I'm the opposite. Although I'm 5'6" and not small-boned (more like average in overall size), I'm very tight and small down there. (I've had one c-section birth so no baby has passed through.) Men have exclaimed about the tightness several times in my sexual experience. My hubby, most especially. I never knew this about myself (or ever would have thought it) until former boyfriends said it. The first time we made love, he looked amazed and wide-eyed and said, "You are as tight as an 18 year old!" He still comments on it to this day. His ex's vagina was loose/bigger.

So, I've wondered for years...does childbirth sometimes, or maybe often, change a woman's vaginal size? Often, breasts sag after nursing, we all know that. What about the other?

I wonder if some young women and/or never-had-babies women sometimes have bigger vaginal canals, too?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 4:42pm
>>I'm not offended, it's just that there's a lot of ignorance regarding women's vagina's, and their amazing abilities.<<

I'll second that thought. It's not only attributed to young women either, I've heard the strangest things from the mouths of women over 40. You'd think after that many years of sexual activity they would have gained more knowledge.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 8:33am
From one of your last posts, I see that you've been with your husband from a very young age and most likely with this one man for your whole adult life. That's wonderful and lucky for people that have that. However, you are shooting down the experiences and comments of people who have had quite a few different parters and have a very wide basis of comparison and personal knowledge. As a woman who has been with one man since age 19 and is now in her mid-40's, of course you wouldn't be hearing any, not even extremely subtle, comparisons to other women from your husband. But, if you'd been dating and in various relationships with different men through your 30's and beyond, you'd have so much data to go on, you would have an entirely different basis of life experience and comparison.

You seem to be saying that anyone who disagrees with you on this topic is ignorant. You're talking to people who have been there, with different partners through their adult life. We are speaking out of *experience* here. Adult experience. If you don't like the opinions shared by others here, why do you feel it's your duty to disagree and debate every minute point? When you turn a thread like this into a shooting gallery, you basically shut down the flow of the conversation. Someone who may have had something to add might choose to stay quiet, knowing they're next to get picked apart.

Sharing thoughts and being *open* to receiving new information is the way people learn and grow. Immediately pronouncing that they are wrong, misinformed and ignorant is...well, ignorant.

I'm sure you'll be responding with a sermon again. Be my guest. I won't be reading it. There are *many* sex topic boards all over iVillage, and none of them seem to be as judgemental and hen-pecked as this board is. There are other places to go and talk about sex, which is what I'll be doing. It's a shame, though. This board gets a lot more traffic, and it could be a good one. This board is called "Let's Talk About Sex". The paragraph at the top of the board sounds very openminded and accepting of people's opinions. False advertising, I guess.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 10:45am
I'm sorry that you feel that way. A normal vagina is a potential space, not a hole. This is an excerpt from the-clitoris.com:

Question: I'm not sexually active yet but the other day I used a vibrator to see what it was like and my problem is that it wouldn't go into my vagina at all. Could it be that I am "tight"? I can use tampons with ease. Is there anything wrong with me? And how can I fix this problem, I'm worried that when I do have sex with a guy that his penis wont be able to enter my vagina at all. Thanks for your help.

Answer: I am sure you are perfectly normal. Your vagina is a "potential" space, not an opening or hole in your body. Your body must make room for whatever enters your vagina. I suspect between your hymen and pelvic muscles your body in not ready for the insertion of something as large as a vibrator. You are correct in wanting to make sure your body is prepared for intercourse prior to actually doing it. Please see the pages about Virginity in the Intercourse section for the information you seek. Information on preparing the vagina for intercourse is presented there.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 1:56pm
i used to believe that i was large inside too, but i found out that i just produce a vast amount of lube. it wouldn't matter how big the thing was, i couldn't feel any of them. i finally met a man who knew what to do. we would wipe his penis and my vulva several times during sex------but at least now i can feel him. i assumed that lots of lube is great------and it is-----but it also can decrease the amount friction between penis and vagina.


Edited 7/11/2004 1:57 pm ET ET by lauranmac
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 5:44pm
Sorry I didnt get back to you sooner Muttley but I'm not online much. And yes...I CAN tell you whats perfect. 8-10 inches is IDEAL. And as far as width...anything 2 inches wide or more. My ex husband was 8 inches long and THICK and it was perfect for me (unfortunately he was also an %$#). Biggest man I've ever been with was probably close to 12 inches and it was a little too much. Anything less than 6 though is hard for me to feel (and anything less than say 1 1/2 inch wide). It's just the way I'm built and my preference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 7:11pm
Well, no matter *what* a woman's height, we can all *usually* have a baby vaginally. So the size of a penis is irrelevant when compared to the size of an 8 lb newborn! Those that have Csections due to cephalic disproportion (baby's head is too big) is due to the size of the pelvic bones, not the vaginal canal itself.

If we can accomodate an infant and then go back to the usual vaginal circumference within a month or two, we can certainly accomodate a penis! The vagina isn't skin that stretches 'out' and doesn't regain its former state. It's a network of muscle, active working muscle.


Edited 7/11/2004 7:14 pm ET ET by tally33

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 7:31pm
Youre right...height has NOTHING to do with it. I've kinda talked to my girlfriends about this (we were slightly tipsy LOL) and it was pretty much OPPOSITE of that you would think. I'm 5ft2 and like I said in previous posts, consider myself kinda "roomy." My sister is 5ft1 and has the same issues with her husband that I do. A friend of ours is 5ft9 and she considers her hubby almost TOO big sometimes (and shes says hes average..about 7 inches or so)

So you certainly cant judge a book by its cover. :)

Same with guys too I would add. The biggest man I've ever been with was about 5ft9 (and it was at LEAST 11 inches...freak of nature).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 11:23pm
Thanks for the reply!
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 3:58pm
tally, during labor and delivery, the vagina takes on changes that are totally different than when it prepares its self for sex. Im a father, I know vaginas normally return to normal after birthing. I think we all concur that vaginas come in different depths. I KNOW that I`ve been too long for some women. Tightness, in my experiances, do vary from woman to woman. I dont even know if this is even relivant, but some women deliver babies without tearing or being cut.Some split badly or need to be cut.I know babies heads vary in circumference, but im sure that there are woman who tear with even small babies heads. So they do stretch. I agree that not all tall women are large down there and visa versa, with small women ..I believe I said I the word "ALWAYS"meaning it doesnt always ring true. And for the experts, Septrums come in different sizes as well. Im not going to argue about what I`ve noticed. I think what is important ,if some one is really concerned about "size", ONE of the factors when selecting a mate "COULD" be that there is a fit there anatomically, as well as desire wise (do the libedos match?)Obviously there is much more to a relationship that just sex, but its also been my experience that when things are dreastically wrong in the bed room , it may be a relationship red flag, or it could just lead to frustration from one of the mates.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 4:07pm
i never knew that a gyn has more than one size spectrum.i would imagine that they would use the smallest available because women aren't generally aroused during examination.i have never been sized up by my gyn and i'm physically small.

the stretching you refer to is on the outside of the vagina, not the vagina itself. some women have an epsiotomy during childbirth because the baby is coming fast and the skin hasn't had time to stretch.rather than them rip,they're cut.it has nothing to do with the vagina, just the skin on the outside.they don't cut your vagina.