vanilla talk and obedience training?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
vanilla talk and obedience training?
60
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 9:29pm

I've been friends with benefits with this guy for 6 years now. He's 42 and I'm 33.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 9:35pm
It sounds like your FWB is into BDSM, and is trying to sound you out about whether you'd be interested in extending your arrangement into that area. "Vanilla outside the bedroom" means that he's primarily looking for BDSM themed sex play, with the Dom/sub nature of it being restricted to the bedroom and a relationship between equals outside the bedroom, as opposed to a 24/7 lifestyle D/s arrangement.

If BDSM is not something that you're interested in exploring with him, you should let him know that.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 9:52pm
thanks, what is BDSM?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 9:55pm
just Googled it, got it now!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2008
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 10:17pm
"Vanilla" is my DW. Seriously vanilla is plain old sex with little or no variation. The exact definition varies depending upon the person.


Edited 12/12/2008 10:18 pm ET by barrister_returns
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 10:29pm

what is DW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2008
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 10:41pm
Sorry about that. Hope I can make it up to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 11:09pm

Be careful about what you read about BDSM out there on the web.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 11:57pm

I don't like it when people use abbreviations ASSUMING OTHERS know what they stand for.

Mrs P

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sat, 12-13-2008 - 12:24am

"Vanilla" is BLAND!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Sat, 12-13-2008 - 1:53am

I definitely agree with you about not believing everything you read about BDSM on the Internet. Every BDSM relationship is different. When I tell people that I'm a collared sub they assume that I stay naked and chained all day and meet my Master at the front door on my knees. They also assume that I follow meekly behind Him everywhere W/we go and my answer to His every question is, "Yes, Master." That is what I call Fantasyland. And I'm selling tickets!


I am a little closer to the fantasy than some subs, since I'm not working right now and W/we don't have children, so W/we can indulge a bit more than other BDSM couples do. W/we are 24/7, I call Him "Master" instead of His first name, W/we do use a leash (my hair), etc. But I still don't spend my days naked and chained. Even those of U/us who are 24/7 lifestylers still have to live in the real world and have real world responsibilities.

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