Venting & Comments about accessive Porn
Find a Conversation
Venting & Comments about accessive Porn
| Fri, 04-15-2005 - 10:24pm |
Okay, I don't mind it myself. I saw that one girl wrote it bothered her that her b/f watched a lot of porn. I can relate. Our sex is usually great and rather enjoyable, but when I come home from work there's a different porn video in the vcr and there have been several sites visited on our computer. If it were an occassional thing, I wouldn't have a problem. But this is nearly every day, at LEAST several times a week. I think the thing that bothers me about it is that I look at it and think "so, that's what he's into?" Or that he likes those kinds of girls and would rather be doing her than me. I can't help but think if I was good enough he wouldn't need it as often as he consumes it. I know, save your breath, that's an insecurity thing from my part and its a problem that only I can overcome. But, for the love of Pete, can you blame me for feeling that way? Plus, for a while, our sex is really good but he only sometimes finishes. There are times, more often than not, when he just goes limp. He said that the only other time that's happened with a girl it was because it was their first time and the chick was a lot older so he got nervous. He also told me that sometimes when we're having sex, the porn images pop into his head and he just goes limp. He seems like he's always wanting sex, every night - but I feel like its more of a pent up lusting from watching the porn and half the time, I don't even feel like he's making love to me. This is more of a venting spree for me and to let the other girls know YOU'RE NOT ALONE in being a little upset about it. Thanks for listening. I pretty much have myself figured out already, I just don't have anyone to talk to about this kind of stuff and my annonymity (sp?) and my b/f's is important when discussing this issue. After all, he may realize it but be embarrassed about it. Argh, I'll shut up now. Thanks again girls!!!!

Have you suggested to him that if he thinks he goes limp because of the porn images in his head, that maybe he's shooting himself in the foot by watching so much porn. I'm sure he's no happier than you that he has problems, but are the problems because of the porn, or is he having the problems for another reason, and he's watching the porn thinking that it will "cure" him?
If he thinks the porn is causing the problem, wouldn't a normal person then stay away from the porn to end the problem? Doesn't he work? Where does he find the time to do so much viewing?
You two need to do a lot more talking about the issue. Being upset about it doesn't fix it.....discussing it, and discussing what can be done about it is what will bring it out in the open, and hopefully fix it. Addiction to porn, just like any other addiction, like alcohol or drugs, is NOT the problem......it's a symptom of an underlying problem. You need to find out what that is, and if you can't then he needs some professional help.
This board IS a good place for venting and expressing personal thoughts.
I think you should TELL your guy that this much porn use bothers you. It may mean nothing, it may be a symptom of other issues, but it IS causing you to question his actions in bed.
He needs to know what you're thinking. You can't make adjustments or tweak the relationship unless you have an honest discussion and make your true feelings known...whether they make sense to him or not.
And as far as the insecurity thing goes....I don't know anyone who isn't insecure, at times, in some way, about some thing. Men included.