Verbal Stimulation

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Verbal Stimulation
6
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 1:51pm
I've noticed that as I've grown older (I'm 51) that I require more verbal stimulation from my wife during sex in order to achieve orgasm. My wife used to excite me greatly by sharing her past sexual experiences. However, now she is reluctant for fear of jealousy on my part. The stories excite me, they don't make me jealous! How can I convince my wife to share stories of her past sexual experiences?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 2:38pm
That doesn't make any sense. If you used to do it, and you didn't get jealous, why would she stop doing it for fear of jealousy? Other than that, do you tell her your stories? Does she get jealous? If so, that may be why she stopped telling you hers...she's projecting. Also, although it may excite you, maybe it doesn't excite her(at least not any longer?)and she didn't know how else to get out of it. Just a few ideas.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 3:31pm
The only thing I can think of is that after telling me certain past sexual experiences she looked up information on the web (she investigates everything) that possibly told her that sharing past sexual experiences was a bad idea and could lead to jealousy. She doesn't seem to have gotten jealous when I shared my stories. Do you think its wrong for a wife to share her past sexual experiences with her spouse?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 3:44pm

Well...I guess that would depend. Some people feel that it's a private matter to go into detail and that there should be an unspoken code in place that protects the innocent(those whom she had sex with); out of respect. I guess some people don't see it that way though. DH and I have shared our pasts(only three years ago), but did not delve into deep detail. We didn't do it to arouse one other, we did it out of mere curiosity. Prior to that time, I hadn't even known his sexual past and he didn't know mine.

P.S. I don't remember too much of the sex I had prior to him anyhow. It was all a blur. ;-)




Edited 5/17/2005 3:46 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 5:02pm

Why are you hung up on HER PAST experiences? Why not just leave it at fantasy and get her to talk dirty to you about what SHE'D LIKE NOW, that would be mutually beneficial I'd think.

I don't know, the whole idea of bringing up past sexual experiences for your pleasure just seems kind of creepy to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 5:51pm

Hey ricky!

I think each couple decides that differently. One way to look at it, regarding whether or not it is right for you, is to simply discover if you to are comfortable with it or not...

...correction...if you two are it or not. If not, then I think there's your answer.

By what I've read so far, maybe you need to have an even heart to heart talk with her than you already have so that you know if she even wants that anymore or not. If she isn't doing it on her own accord, then I'm guessing, just a guess, that signifies she isn't interested.

Talk with her again, and find out for sure how she feels. Thats my take on it by what I've read so far.

Hope the replies help ya. :)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 10:10am
Thanks to everyone for their words of advice. We have added more recent situations to our love making. For example she will pretend that I am the cute, much younger waiter that attended to us at dinner. While I am inside her she will tell him (me) how much bigger and better he is compared to her husband and how he can have her anytime he wants. This never fails to bring me to orgasm.
Or while she is performing oral sex on me she will ask me "You know why I am such a good c##ksucker? It's because of all those guys I sucked."