Video game interfering with sex
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Video game interfering with sex
| Thu, 03-03-2005 - 9:35pm |
Before anyone assumes I'm so anal that DH doesn't want to make love to me, just read me out..
We have a PS2..It was our Christmas gift to eachother the first year we were together because DH and I like to kick back every now and then and play a good game. Well, recently, DH out and rented Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for me to play to relieve my stress. I get to steal cars, beat people up, run people over, crash cars and all in all relieve my stress..Since my hip surgery, I was advised not to return to martial arts and so I didn't have a way to deal with my anger in a positive way. The game has been fun to play. I love playing it. But..DH is obsessed with playing it. The first thing he does after we've put DD to bed is turn on the PS2 and start playing the game. I'll usually play with him until I fall asleep on the couch. Then at about 3 a.m. he puts us to bed. He can't get up for work in the morning because he stayed up so late. At first it didn't bother me, but now I can't even tear my DH away from it long enough to make love to him. All I want to do is make love to him and I've done that not at all this week.
I've tried prying him away from it with nighties and going to take showers..usually within two minutes of me hopping in the shower, he's right there behind me and in too. Now, he's in the same spot as I left him.
How the heck do I get him to be as attentive to me as he is to the game?
We have a PS2..It was our Christmas gift to eachother the first year we were together because DH and I like to kick back every now and then and play a good game. Well, recently, DH out and rented Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for me to play to relieve my stress. I get to steal cars, beat people up, run people over, crash cars and all in all relieve my stress..Since my hip surgery, I was advised not to return to martial arts and so I didn't have a way to deal with my anger in a positive way. The game has been fun to play. I love playing it. But..DH is obsessed with playing it. The first thing he does after we've put DD to bed is turn on the PS2 and start playing the game. I'll usually play with him until I fall asleep on the couch. Then at about 3 a.m. he puts us to bed. He can't get up for work in the morning because he stayed up so late. At first it didn't bother me, but now I can't even tear my DH away from it long enough to make love to him. All I want to do is make love to him and I've done that not at all this week.
I've tried prying him away from it with nighties and going to take showers..usually within two minutes of me hopping in the shower, he's right there behind me and in too. Now, he's in the same spot as I left him.
How the heck do I get him to be as attentive to me as he is to the game?

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I'm coming to Tish's rescue here.
"Funny, b/c MY mom managed to get us to stop playing our video games by ASKING us. Have you ever tried that one?"
Yup. Did it work? Yeah, after I kept asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking. Sometimes we all get caught up in our toys that we tend to tune people out. I've seen it. A friend of our's could have his wife yelling in his ear to change the baby and he will completely not hear her because he's playing his games on the PC.
I've taken the controllers for the PS2 and hidden them on DH because there were things that only he could do that I can't that needed done and weren't getting done. I took the controller until he did them. And when he did those specific chores, I gave them back. He's done the same thing to me. I don't get mad and I always appreciate him giving me that extra shove to get my work done.
BTW, my mom could ask me to do something, but that never meant I heard her until I felt like doing it.
I have a 5 yr. old and I will take toys from her for leaving them lying around. I can't tell you how many times I've tripped over her dolls and blocks because she REFUSED to pick them up. So, I did. I took them and put them away in my closet. She knew. It didn't do any harm to her. She's learned now that in order to keep a house clean, we ALL have to pitch in together in order to get it done. She knows that if she wants to watch a movie, she needs to get her chores done first before she can sit and veg. DH knows this too. I'm not mean to my DH or treat him like his mother did. I tell him that if he wants a mother he can move back in with his own because I was his wife and would always be. He has taken things from me and while I got frustrated, I realized it was for the greater good of me than to be mean. Sometimes you need that push from your spouse.
Ok, obviously we have different ways of dealing with things. I just don't have the urge to be a warden. I can't imagine having to take something away from my mate, rather than asking them to stop. If he can't do it himself, I'm not interested in withholding his free will. If I was having a lot of fun playing a computer game or something, and my DBF thought that I was addicted to it, HIM physically taking it away would speak volumes about his lack of respect for me (b/c I obviously couldn't handle life by myself, plus he would be making himself judge, jury and executioner which I completely disagree with.) Even the fact that he thought that he needed to take it away would point to deeper issues that we would want to DEAL with, not just make the symptoms go away.
Do you see what I'm saying at all?
And I'm glad your DH can see the humor in this. What a guy! ;)
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"BTW, my mom could ask me to do something, but that never meant I heard her until I felt like doing it."
I guess this is where it's different for me. I respected my mother, so when she asked me to do something, I would stop my video game, and go do it. (Yes, pouting all the way and generally being a bitch about it, but I WOULD do it.) My DBF is the quite similar with the way he likes his computer and PS2, but at the same time, I only need to ASK him to stop, and I would be really ashamed of myself if I had to hide the controllers. Obviously, this is just me. It seems that most other people honestly think that physically taking away the toys is the best policy (or the only one that seems to work.)
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"Just because I ask doesn't necessarily mean its going to get done."
But wouldn't you prefer to deal with that problem and get it resolved, rather than just taking away the symptom time and time again?
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"What exactly is it that triggered you to go off on about deeper issues, being a mom, a warden, not letting him have free will and all this other stuff over something so trivial."
Just the fact that you were so quick to offer "taking away the toys" as a solution. It's just not what I would have offered as the first advice that I gave. GRANTED, my opinion isn't the only right one, but that's what set me off. I just couldn't imagine actually doing that, and I was (to be honest) kind of amazed that the next few people agreed that it was the way to go.
I don't know if I can explain why that sort of thing isn't how I live my life, nor was it the way I was raised. I just have a problem with that whole approach. Do you think I'm unreasonable for that?
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"I don't know if I can explain why that sort of thing isn't how I live my life, nor was it the way I was raised. I just have a problem with that whole approach. Do you think I'm unreasonable for that?"
You're like a dog with a bone, why not drop it? Her and her husband are happy with how their marriage is, why do you care so much? With many topics there are varying opinons. Why not just state yours and let it be, why go after someone? I find your bahavior in this thread highly immature. I am not suprised Tish has handled it with such tact, she's a classy lady.
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