A Virgin Asks

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2006
A Virgin Asks
3
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 12:03am

Hello everyone.

I really appreciated your advices and concerns last time I posted so.. I did it again ;)

As you know (or might have forgotten), I'm 19, a virgin, and a new/first love relationship of 4months. No sex, lot of touching, I received oral. I really love him and I am very aroused every time we make out... and am considering having sex with him. He will get tested as soon as he can get an appointment (really looong). I was wondering if it would be better to wait the results before making love or if a condom would be enough. I have been on BC for 11 days. Considering ''the act'' at the end of my first pack of pills, just to be sure. The main thing I'm afraid of is STD's. I know the only way to protect us from STD's is abstinence, but.. you know, I'm really considering the deed. I can wait 'til he gets tested. However, he told me he had unprotected sex only with his ex-girlfriend and he had tested at the beginning of their relationship (her too). He doesn't have bumps or anything that could predict herpes. But I know that means nothing, right? I know I'm rambling. I'm just not confortable discussing that with my mom or a friend and really appreciate the time you will take to answer my question. Thank you.




Edited 2/3/2006 12:08 am ET by s0phia_2006
Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: s0phia_2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 12:34am
The ideal course to take is to wait until he gets the resuts after he is tested. After all, you have been a virgin for your entire life. You should be able to wait a little longer. If you want to rush into it, he must wear a condom. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: s0phia_2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 5:50am

Gigi is right of course. This is something to rush...wait for his results just as you did yours.

Just so you know, the Mrs. & I still feel that the condom should be used anyway, no matter what other safeguards have been taken. Only time she & I feel its not needed is when the two partners have interest in being 'permanent'...as opposed to just 'exclusive' anyway.

Just an opinion from a married couple...follow your heart though, and congrats on having a great partner. :)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
In reply to: s0phia_2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 8:33am

I have to tell you that I think you are an intelligent young woman and am proud of you for getting tests run and getting on BC BEFORE you have sex. Many young people don't tak ethis route and I think you are being responsible.

That being said, of course you need to wait for the results and need to be aware that you can get both false positives and false negatives with any tests. So as much as you may be against it, a condom is certainly a great idea!

Again I think you have made the right choices and as a mom I can only hope my children can be that responsible.