Virgin looking to spice things up..
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| Thu, 03-22-2007 - 4:13pm |
ok.. im 18 years old and me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months. we've made out before and i've given him many blow jobs. hes taken my shirt off and hes played with and sucked on my nipples. but ive never let him take my pants off. i want to stay a virgin until im married. he, however has already had sex.. hes never pressured me into ANYTHING.. but i do worry that when we get married and do have sex, that hes going to compare me. is this in irrational thing to think about? he said he would never do that...
the second thing is.. like i said, ive never taken my pants off. i really do want him to finger me and give me oral, but i know if we go that far, ill just give in and go all the way... he rubs me through my pants and it feels so amazing. i cum everytime.. and i was lying on top of him a few weeks ago and he put his leg up between mine and starting rubbing me on it.. it got my clit really good and now thats how i cum.. is there any other ways to spice things up or any sexy things to do without acutally having sex?? please help! im clueless!! thanks! :)

First, men don't "compare". There's good sex, and there's bad sex, and if it's good it's good. If you're happy together, and you like being pleasured, and you like pleasing him, then it will be good. Don't worry about other women he's been with. If they were so outstanding he'd still be with them, not you.
Second, other than cunnilingus (oral on you) and anal sex, there's not much left you can do. If you keep going a little further and a little further, eventually, you'll go all the way, and if the truth be known, for you, it'll be no big deal, except that it's the first time. For HIM, it will be great. Intercourse isn't the "main" deal for most women. They LIKE it, they like the intimacy of it, but the foreplay, and the clitoral stimulation is what gives most women the most pleasure. That's because your clitoris is your main sexual organ, NOT your vagina. The clitoris is comparable to the head of a man's penis, and that's where the "nerve endings" that give pleasure are located (many MORE nerve endings than in the penis), not in the vagina, which has little or no feeling inside with the exception of the "g" spot.
The things you're doing now are just as "intimate" if not more intimate than intercourse, and produce more pleasure for most women. But at least that way you'll be saving something "special" for the man you marry. That's a good thing!
Hi, welcome to iVillage's Love & Sex channel.
As a guy, I have to disagree with the previous post that guys don't compare. We do compare. I compare. Not enough that it supercedes my love for my wife, but I remember with GREAT NOSTALGIA the girls I slept with who were better than my wife. I also happen to remember how absolutely toxic and/or shallow my relationships with them were. At the end of the day, I'll take the love over the sex....just wish I could have my cake and eat it too, so to speak.
My bit of advice is that when you start having sex, be open to new things. Don't automatically look at him like he's weird or perverted for suggesting something because I guarantee that he won't suggest things in the future that you may be turned on by. Think them out, judge them critically and objectively, then decide if they are worth trying. Also, if you have thoughts that you think are perverted or taboo or on the envelope kinky, share them.
If you follow that advice, my guess is that he'll still compare you with other women he's slept with and be very thankful that he ended up with you! Good luck.