Virgin with a question

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Virgin with a question
4
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 10:26pm
Well I was a virgin,lol. Anyway, before i had sex with my boyfriend we'd mess around and i'd get really "wet". I've just recently had sex with him and since then i haven't been getting excited like i was before. Its like he doesn't turn me on anymore. I never thought I'D be buying lube!! Is it normal for your sex drive to decrease after you've had sex???
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 10:50pm

1. Are you messing around for the same amount of time before intercourse and in the same way? If there is less foreplay than before (which is possible because you might be rushing towards the intercourse now that you're having it) that's quite likely the main reason.

Simply put, you're not taking the time to get really turned on before trying to put it in! Try more foreplay; bring back the kissing, the touching, playing around before you have intercourse.

2. How's the relationship in general? If there are problems you may indeed feel less attracted to him than before.

3. Hows the health? Changed any medications? Been ill? Drugs? Alcohol? Stress at work or school?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 11:06pm
our relationship is great!! He makes me feel like im the sexiest woman in the world, im completely comfortable with him. So im thinkin, that maybe we do just need to take more time before sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 7:48am
No, your sex drive doesn't decrease after you start having intercourse.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 12:30pm

YOU decide when it's time to move on to intercourse and don't be afraid to delay it until you're aroused and lubricated enough for comfortable penetration. However, don't get into the mindse that there's something wrong with using lube either! There's absolutely nothing wrong with using KY or other lubes when needed. We all use them, at least occasionally, particularly for foreplay.

Remember, we're human, not machines, so each session will be different from the last.