virginity

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
virginity
5
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 6:43pm
i need some advice. first of all i was a virgin until 27 years old, can't explain why, just very unlucky and I used to be very overweight. I live with the man that i lost my virginity to and we're engaged to be married. i haven't told him that he's my first for fear of embarassment. He'd have to think i was some sort of freak, right? I want to tell him, we're getting married and i think that we should be open and honest with each other. He's a great man, i think he would be very understanding, but i can't get over my own shame. any suggestions or similar situations (probably not)

thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: barbra2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:16pm

Welcome to the board Barbra.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
In reply to: barbra2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:21pm
thanks for making me feel a little better, oh I didn't tell him I was a virgin, because we had sex the first night that we met, I thought it was going to be a one night stand...boy was i wrong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: barbra2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:42pm
Hey, glad it worked out for the two of you the way it did.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: barbra2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 11:07pm
Hi barbra!

Virginity is NEVER something to feel "unlucky" about in my honest opinion. In fact, I'd be surprised if ANYone didn't feel special just to know that he or she was the only one special enough to sleep with I suppose...just my feelings on it.

Now I can only guess that marriage would involve trust and NOT hiding things from each other, right? If this is something you'd like him to know, then let him know. I'm guessing you wouldn't want to go through your marriage if you could trust him, so I'd be open with him right now without feeling shy about it because, after all, this is going to be your .

Since he IS a great guy, and since you trust him with everything anyway--enough to marry him, right?--then I don't see any risk in opening up to him with very special news like this. Congratulations! ;)

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: barbra2004
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 12:35am
Rather than thinking you're some kind of freak, I would think he'd be "honored" to think that you waited till you found him to give up something so special as your virginity. Which would you be more ashamed of......telling him the truth about this, or telling him that you'd been with 50 men before him? If he never asked, then I'm sure he really doesn't care, but it bothers you, so tell him. It's certainly nothing to be ashamed of or embarassed about. Anyone can jump into bed with a guy, and I'm sure if you'd wanted to, overweight or not, you could have found someone to have sex with. You had too much pride to do that.....not many women can say that!