Was it me? or does he need........

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Was it me? or does he need........
10
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 1:19pm
My b/f was over yesterday and when we started having sex we had to stop because he wasn't staying hard???? I was surprised, he said that never happened before and said the condom was doing it to him. can condoms do that to men. I naturally thought he wasn't attracted to me anymore or thought I did something wrong. Could it be me or just the condom. He isn't that old so I wasn't sure he should look into Viagra or not. I'm just so confused, we just laid there and I was able to get him in the mood again and he was fine. It was so weird. Has this ever happened to anybody else before? Is this normal or Something else?
Thanks
lost1
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 2:59pm
Does he masturbate frequently? If so, has he always? Cause if a man masterbates regularly from the age of 15 on....the by them time there almost 30 the begin to loose erections more frequently. Excessive masterbation can cause ED, which would mean he needs to lay off. A healthy diet...without tainted beef, and dairy products can help after awhile....also Ginko Biloba pills will help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 4:11pm
Thanks for the reply. I'm not sure if he masterbates alot or how often. maybe I should bring that up to him next time we are talking about sex or in a few days., I don't want to make it a big deal to him right yet, b/c he already felt bad enough. These Ginko Biloba pill? are they over the counter at a local pharmacy or do you get them at a vitamin store?
Thanks again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 4:14pm

Sorry, it has nothing to do with masturbation!

Hon, it happens to EVERY man at one time or another, and it has nothing to do with you, or his attraction to you. Men lose erections. He said it was because of the condom, and many men have trouble using condoms, he was probably telling you the truth.

You didn't say.....is this a new relationship? If so, it might have been nervousness on his part. Whatever it was, it happens in every relationship occasionally, so don't worry about it, and don't make a big thing about it. The more HE worries about it, the more likely it is to happen again. He got it back, so that proves it was nothing, and certainly nothing to worry about. Some men CAN'T get it back right away, and that's nothing to worry about either.

No matter what his age.....he doesn't need viagra. That's for men who have physical problems, and cannot GET an erection. There are dangerous side effects to Viagra, Cialis and all the other drugs for ED. Unless he sees a doctor, he can't get Viagra, and a doctor won't prescribe it for him for losing erections.

Again, it happens to every man occasionally, and it has NOTHING to do with you, or his feelings for you. Don't even think about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 4:37pm
Yes there over the counter in the vitamin section...also make sure he's taking a multi-vitamin.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 4:43pm
Thanks for the reply. He will probably be glad to know that there is nothing wrong with him. he did get it back with in 5 to 10 minutes I gave him some oral to make him harder to last longer that seemed to help. Its not really a new relationship, it was kind of a reconcile, we've been together since late August but spilt or took a break parts of Jan & Feb. Its still kinda new I guess. Thanks again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 4:43pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 5:54pm

You say you don't want to make it a big deal, but that's exactly what you're doing. A one time incident of him losing his erection doesn't mean anything is wrong with him. Anyone can have that happen occasionally.

If you start harassing him to see a doctor or start trying to get him to take pills to enhance his erections, you're going to make him feel bad and that's going to make him worry about his performance. If he's constantly worried, that's going to dramatically increase the chances of him having problems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 6:40pm
I wasn't making a big deal about it to him, I didn't act like different toward him or anything, I said it was ok and we laid there for awhile staring at each other and talked about different stuff then we tried again and he was fine, I was just worried & I was just trying to find out if I should incase something was wrong, now that I know its nothing, I'll leave it alone. Thanks for the reply. :)
lost1
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 12:02am

That probably explains it. Men can have "performance anxiety", particularly if you're getting back together. As I said before, it happens to all men on occasion, and unless it happens EVERY time over a long period of time, it's "normal".

Ginko biloba is a blood thinner, and theoretically can make the blood "flow" better, and it's also claimed to help memory......more blood to the brain. Be very careful with herbals.....people think they're natural, therefore safe, and they can be dangerous. They can cause problems combined with prescribed drugs. The "labs" where they're made are NOT supervised by the FDA, and strenghths can vary. Most people don't need blood thinners unless they've been diagnosed with arterial sclerosis and/or blockage, in which case the doctor will prescribe something. If he cuts himself shaving, he could have a hard time stopping the bleeding!

This only happened once. Don't worry about it. Don't tell him to take herbs...it will only make him focus on it. You did the correct thing, and it worked. You waited, stimulated him and he was FINE. Do the same if it ever happens again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 1:32pm

To start, let me make it perfectly clear that there are some very good reasons for using condoms...avoiding pregnancy, protection against STDs, etc.

Personally, as a male I have never liked using condoms, though I have done it with a couple of partners. For one thing, the lovemaking action is interrupted to put the darn thing on. I have been told that putting the condom on can be done in a manner that makes it part of the foreplay, but I've never been able to make that work for me.

Another point...take the most erotically sensitive part of your body and cover it in latex, thereby dulling the sensations, and see how much you would like it. For a lot of men, it's a real mood killer.

Just a couple of thoughts.

Greg