Was just wondering...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Was just wondering...
5
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 8:36pm

if you are the one to initiate sex or any sexual actions most of the time. If you do, what do you do, or how do you let your partner know you want to have sex? If he/she initiates it, how do they let you know they want to get some?

And also, do you ever get rejected by your partner? If so, do you go ahead and please yourself or what do you do? If you reject them, what do they do?

Just curious.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 9:26pm

I would say we both initiate about equal time, probably me a little more than him.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 9:37pm

We don't alwasy have sex everytime one of us wants to or everytime one of us "initiates", but we don't ever "reject" each other. Neither of us view it as rejection if the other one just isn't up for it. That's one of the things I love about dbf; he understands my needs and respects them.


As to initiating, we do it about equal. Dbf is more direct in his indication; I'm more subtle.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2004
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 1:03am

See, when I initiate I sneak up on him and put my arms around his neck and start kissing him. If he doesn't get the subtle HINT, I go and put on some sexy clotes ;) and do the same, if he doesn't notice I sit on his lap and just look at him lovingly and that does the trick most of the time. I usually get my way. When he's too tired :( he doesn't necessarily reject me, he'll go and hold me which is what I need most of the time. When he doesn't want to I don't feel offended or anything, sometimes I'm not in the mood and he'll be ok with it, he respects me, so I respect him. I don't take care of myself. I feel as if nothing can substitute the pleasures found in the one you love. Even if I'm feeling needy (hope it doesn't sound ugly) I just wait until the time is right, it's far more enjoyable when he pleases me.

For him, he's a little less subtle about suggesting what he wants. When he's feeling romantic, he'll start caressing me and kissing my neck (he knows that's my WEAK point) and we get it going on (if i'm in the mood). Of course, sometimes, most of the times ;) he's like I want to hokey pokey, or do you want to do it? stuff like that. I know it's not as romantic (LOL...actually not romantic at all), but I still love him and it's still cute. I see him as a big baby doing that, of course he doesnt' come off offensive or anything like that. If I say no, when he says stuff like that, he'll find other ways to convince me like kissing me passionately, or picking me up on my way to the kitchen and carrying me to bed. Of course, we have no kids yet so it gives us a lot of opportunities.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 5:18am

I've completely lost track of who initiates sex more, LOL! Never bothered to keep count enough times to actually say. We just do it when we're both in the mood or when one is successful at getting the other in the mood. Our libidos are quite lower than what they use to be because of our increased schedules these days. We're often very tired and pretty much at the point of planning a special candle-lit night for at least once a week.

I guess for me & Mrs. Para, its not really a matter of who initiates it as much as it is a matter of who's in the mood and 'tries' to when it comes to the "how" of it all. We have our own little knowledge of the differences between the way we hold each other while lying down in bed, or the way we touch each other before getting there. We always massage one another to sleep, thats our intimate time right there, at least one of us gets one and we really don't keep track of whose turn or anything like that, we just do what we feel. If the massage is received sensuously, then bang! If it puts the other to sleep, no problem, thats a success when it comes to relaxation.

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 9:14pm

I initiate probably about half the time. Usually, I just climb on top of him and start kissing him. That works pretty well.

I have been rejected plenty of times, though. When this happens, I eat ice cream instead. :)