Watching
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Watching
| Tue, 07-27-2004 - 7:13pm |
I have a question. My husband is always trying to get me to masterbate and let him watch. I don't let him cause I feel weird. I only do that to get aroused and not to "get off" I just don't know if he would understand that or not. I don't even like it when he masterbates cause it makes me feel like I'm not doing my job. Can anyone give any words of advise?

I suspect that your husband won't be worried if you do not orgasm when you masturbate in front of him. Treat him to a show of yourself masturbating for while (which will get him very turned on) and then continue with sex with him like normal. It's all about being able to watch a sexually assertive woman, being able to see how she touches herself and gives herself pleasure while being able to get a good view of her vagina and labia. An orgasm for you would be icing on the cake but he'll enjoying immensely with or without you coming.
I just want to second the notion that masturbating in a relationship is like having dessert after a good meal. It doesn't mean the meal wasn't great, its that you get to have both! My wife and I both masturbate, and we've found that both of us masturbate more when we're having more sex and less when we're not. Basically, if we're walking around in the mood, we want both. If we're too busy to think about sex, we're not thinking about *any* kind of sex.
As for him watching, I completely understand. Its a huge turn on for me to see my wife turn herself on, and she sometimes asks me to do the same. Usually, we get turned on and end up making love before we finish. But its also a good way to really learn what your partner likes, to see how and where she touches herself, and how she responds. Its a win-win situation.
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martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963
CL Redbook "Get Inside His Head"
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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!
...and try to smile if you can, lol, sounds like your guy appreciates you quite a bit. :)
Here's a story for you to laugh at:
I love fixing things and working in the yard and chopping wood and all kinds of stuff, but I can't dance...AT ALL! LOL!!! So...one time I made the brave move to join a truth or dare game on the How to Have Hotter Sex message board and ended up accepting a dare to dance in front of my wife while stripping, with music. Ooooooooh myyyyy! RAOFL!! VERY embarrassing and the whole works, you betcha! Funny thing though was that it taught me just how much it turned her on to see me do something so unusual and helped me realize just how much she really appreciated me and was actually turned on by me...
...no matter how embarrassing it was to expose myself like that. Of course it felt weird, but I don't regret trying it at all. As I mentioned on a similar topic earlier, perhaps you could give some thought to what it'd be like if you started masturbating together?...and then see how you feel after that? Your call, gotta do what you are comfortable with. Please feel free to check out the advice on the other topic too:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlletstalkab&msg=15172.1
Hope the best for you. Please let us know how it goes, we've helped each other around here plenty of times. ;)
(By the way, I REALLY can't dance, learned that the embarrassing way, LOL!!)
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