Watching with toys ? ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Watching with toys ? ....
38
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 12:08pm

Just a little info before I ask a question. I have a fairly new relationship with a man that I am starting to believe I can fall in love with. We waited a little while before taking our relationship to the boudair but it is there now and its everything I could have hoped for!

My question is simple. I would appreciate male opinions and well as female!

In a new relationship like this, how comfortable would the women be using one of their toys on theirselves in front of the new guy (he wants to watch of course) and also from the guys .. how would you feel about a woman (that you are beginning to care about) letting you watch when she masturbates with toys? Its just that we have only spent 3 weekends together (actually together) and I am still a bit on the slightly inhibited side (only because its so new) although I know I will let him watch as he wants to eventually. I just don't want to mess up this relationship because I do really care about him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 1:06pm
LOL, I would have rather had them burning from beling pulled on,lol
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 3:34pm
I have watched my girlfriend use her vibrator "Blue Boy" and it is very erotic and exciting to watch her please herself with it and we have also done mutual masturbation with together with our hands which it very exciting as well. Good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 9:12am

Wow . . . good luck and DEFINITELY keep us posted!

You know . . . I've always wondered about if a woman felt more self-conscious masturbating in front of her lover using her fingers or her toys; and it's always been my speculation that fingers were a bit more 'personal' than toys. Maybe I'm wrong, huh?

And I do like your thoughts on wanting him to wait so you can enjoy him!
Dang . . . he's ONE LUCKY GUY if you want my opinion!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 12:34pm

Thought I should post a weekend update. The offer is now on the table but just the offer that I would do that if he wants me to, with the stipulation that he can only watch and not touch me (he can touch himself all he wants as long as he's still hard when I am ready for him hehe, had to make that clear to him), just the offer that I would do that for him turned him on so much that he took me on the bedroom floor *grin*. At the foot of the bed. Now my floor's wet cause I had to shampoo the carpet ROFL! He said he isn't sure he can not touch me if he watches me with my favorite toy. I told him when he wants to watch, bring me the rabbit vibe and he still has to just watch. That was when he threw me down on the floor and had his way with me. Dang he's too good. I feel so darn lucky to have found someone like this!

I think he feels pretty lucky too :)




Edited 6/18/2007 12:36 pm ET by tami-kins
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 1:03pm
My first response was, sure why not? But I read a few more posts and started to think that holding off may not be a bad idea, even after you are comfortable with the idea of it, ONLY because it is a new relationship. Let me see if I can answer from a woman's perspective. YES, it is a huge turn on for a guy for the most part and you maybe very comfortable with yourself and him to do this, which is a must before you do, BUT I actually find doing this is SO intimate between my dh and I that soemtimes it is more emotionally pwerful than actual intercourse or oral sex, for us at least. When I masterbate in front of my dh I find myself to be completely vulnerable emotionally. I can lose myself in my own pleasure knowing that he loves me so deeply and it is more than just a SEXUAL turn on but a connection. I feel the same when he masterbates with me or in front of me.
Maybe I feel this way because it took me a long time to be able to do it and feel it is so special. Now you and this new guy maybe headed down a wonderful longterm path together but if it was me, I probably would wait. There are enough sexual things for you to share over and over again.



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Design Your Own Se
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 1:18pm

If I were much younger I might agree with you about waiting. But both my SO and I are 49 and we both want a committed relationship and it was a little bit of love at first sight for both of us when we met. The more I get to know him the more I grow to care about him and the more I want to live with him. And after so many failed relationships in my life, believe me when I say I am weighing all factors in my new relationship!

Naw .. I'm ready whenever he is ... it may not happen for a while yet though cause every time he starts talking about it he gets so turned on he can't wait to have me. And I sure don't mind LOL. He keeps saying he wishes we had both met at 16, we are so much alike its eerie, but I just tell him it can still be a wild ride for however long we have together now :) especially since the great sex is only a part of the relationship we are building!




Edited 6/18/2007 1:19 pm ET by tami-kins
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 1:32pm
LOL, I thought from your post you were a "bit younger". Without knowing anything about you, I was worried that you might be emotionally vulnerable but you sound as if you have it together! I am 46 and can completly understand where you are coming from! It does sound like it might take you awhile to get to it tho, so much to experience together! I have been with my DH for 28 years and STILL, every day, we totally enjoy each other and the intimacy of our sexual life together. Good luck!



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Design Your Own Se
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 1:44pm

Thanks :). I thought your advice was good though. Exactly what I would give someone that was younger!

Its great to hear that you and your DH have that kind of relationship. I made a lot of changes in my life in order to be able to find just what you have. I am seriously starting to think that maybe I finally found a guy that is right for me. I know you have to make concessions to live with anyone for a long time but every man I found before this one required too many concessions for me to be happy! At long last, I think I can be happy with this one! Smart, sexy and definitely all man! And we see the world in pretty much the same way. Pretty great mix so far :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 2:00pm

"my speculation that fingers were a bit more 'personal' than toys. Maybe I'm wrong, huh?"

I don't know about the other ladies but to me fingers are just another sex organ LOL. My fingers are everywhere (all over me and HIM) everytime I have sex. I think using a toy on yourself is definitely a more personal AND vulnerable experience.




Edited 6/18/2007 2:04 pm ET by tami-kins
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 7:11pm

Wow . . . I guess it just goes to show that even an old dog can still learn something new every day.

I can see (now that you mention it) how toys probably are AT LEAST as personal, if not MORE SO than just fingers.

And I couldn't agree more with your comment that fingers are just more sex organs!