We are on a break !
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We are on a break !
| Sat, 05-21-2005 - 11:17am |
My boyfriend broke up with me wednesday night. Im not going to get into any details about what happened but all i can say is .. we both still like eachother alot he just doesnt know what he wants right now. I know people are just saying " there are many other fish in the sea " and " oh youre such a pretty girl you can get any guy you want " blah blah blah. But you see .. I love him so much and I just cant forget about him. We are friends for now and may get back together but just not right now. Is there any advice you could give me that sure enough will make him want me back sooner. should i play hard to get ? what should i do cause Im so heart broken but yet I DONT want to give up !

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In my opinion, what he wants is the freedom to do what he wants when he wants and he doesn't want to have a girl around that he HAS to see. That's not just you, that's any girl. He would be very happy with a relationship where he can have sex but doesn't have to do anything-else. But unfortunately, as he is finding out, it's not easy to find a girl that is happy with the odd booty call and doesn't want anythingelse.
Is he really *in love* with you? No, I don't think he is. He knows that the two of you get along great and are well suited but it doesn't feel right for him. You could be a perfect couple. But that's not what he wants at the moment. He doesn't WANT to be a couple. He wants sex and intimacy when it suits him, but he doesn't want to be tied to having to see someone and do stuff with them that he doesn't really want to do. And until he finds someone new that he falls head over heels in love with, he won't really know how he feels about relationships and girlfriends in general. That's fine. There is nothing wrong with that. But it's probably not going to help you any. Until he finds someone that he KNOWS that he wants to be with, he's not going to really know how he feels about you and what he wants from you. He's obviously got strong feelings for you, but there is something inside him that telling him that he wants more or something different. And until he finds that there is a good chance that neither of you will really be able to figure out what he wants.
Be careful. Although he's a nice guy and probably honestly doesn't want to be with any other girls at the moment, you may find that things get confusing. When you look back at things, you may realise that you wasted a lot of effort trying to keep the relationship together when it was doomed to end from the moment that he announced that he wanted a break.
Do NOT sit home waiting for him to decide to get back with you but be honest about your expectations! You don't want to give him the impression that you are willing to sit by the phone hoping for his call indefinitely. No one wants to be the "backup GF or BF" and I've noticed a lot of this type of attitude with young people lately. Keeping someone on the string "just in case."
I DO think it's a good idea to spend some time apart to decide if you're right for one another, if one person feels it's necessary, but there has to be an understanding about what that break means, too.
My suggestion is to do your own thing and if and when he wants to come back, you can decide if you still want him then.
But you know what they say..."if you love someone, set him free, if he comes back, then he is yours....if he doesn't, then he never was!"
Edited 5/23/2005 1:35 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
Sorry to hear this Sexynympho and yes, it is very painful and heartbreaking, but you will
Edited 5/24/2005 6:26 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
p.s. he didnt really hook up with that girl monday night.
p.s.s. hes going into the airforce after he gets his diploma. so even if we were together now .. it would be bound to happen in the future that our relationship would end because i wouldnt be able to carry on with him away.
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