Weight and Sex Drive
Find a Conversation
Weight and Sex Drive
| Wed, 02-15-2006 - 4:32pm |
Hello!
I was once over 250 pounds. Over the past two years I have lost 105. Now, when I was overweight, I was always turned on and now that I have lost the weight it is so hard for me to get revved up.Is that normal and can anything be done.
I was once over 250 pounds. Over the past two years I have lost 105. Now, when I was overweight, I was always turned on and now that I have lost the weight it is so hard for me to get revved up.Is that normal and can anything be done.

How did you lose the weight? Were you on a sensible healthy diet? If not, your hormones could have been thrown out of kilter if you were mistreating your body.
Weight has no bearing on libido. Hormones are a big part of it, but even more important is your brain. I've heard some very overweight people who lost weight that say that in their mind, they're STILL a "fat person" and they're NOT happy. Which means that they have self esteem problems that weren't caused by the extra weight, and now that the weight is gone, they still have the problems, only now they haven't got the weight to blame it on.
It also depends on who you're with. Have you been with the same person throughout the weight loss? Or is it a different person or persons? Maybe you just don't have the same feelings for your current partner(s). Or if it's the same partner, maybe you were just "settling" for him when you were heavy, and now you feel you deserve better.
I know a woman who is morbidly obese, and whose doctor told her that she NEEDS to lose weight or risk diabetes, heart attack or stroke. He wants her to have bypass surgery. She refuses, because she says if she gets thin, she's afraid she'll be attracted to someone other than her husband (who is nothing to brag about, but she settled for him because no one else seemed interested, and she was 40 years old).
There are all kinds of reasons why this could be happening to you, and chances are they're being caused by something mental or emotional. Get your hormone levels checked, and you'll find out whether it's physical, or not.
Well, congrats on the major weight loss. That's an accomplishment to be proud of.
But if you consider that estrogen is stored in fat, then it makes sense that you might experience some change in your libido. Your estrogen/testosterone balance has changed along with your appearance. Could be some emotional factors playing a part, as well.
Talk with your dr. about what you're experiencing, see what he or she recommends and then, give yourself a little more time. This is a major life change as well as body image change to adjust to.
Dear Jen,
Congratulations on your weightloss!
Both Dakin and Kat gave you some things to think about. Let me just add One other thing to your thought processes. Sex happens in the mind...basically the most important sex organ is the brain. The mind likes taboo...it wants things that are less attainable. If you found that having a consistent sex partner was tough when you were heavier, your brain craved sex...hence the higher sex drive. When you are thinner, it may seem easier to have and keep a partner...now you don't crave it, because it is something you can have more easily.
Also, some people use weight to hide. If they had a difficult childhood and are underconfident, or they had sexual abuse issues. They will use their weight as a shield or a disguise to keep the world from seeing their sexual side (a side that the child in them is ashamed of). When they will lose weight, and with it their "shield" against the world they may feel more self-conscious or over exposed to the world. My wife was a victim of sexual abuse as a child, she's incredibly beautiful with a wonderful figure, but all through her young adult and teen years, she hid beneath bulky, colorless clothes, didn't wear makeup etc. all in an attempt to hide from scrutiny by men who she did not completely trust. Just a thought.
I could be completely wrong in this, and none of this may apply because often times when women or men for that matter, make changes in their appearance and their health, their sex drive increases because the feel more confident. BUT, it is something to think about.
Whatever the case, congratulations on helping your body be more healthy.
Peace,
Scott.