Weird Situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2005
Weird Situation.
5
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 8:06pm
Ok I need some help and adivse on a situation that has come up .....
I started dating this guy Jay. (first guy i've dated that had a child i have two). His son was what first attracted me to him then everything fell into place. AFter 5 or little more months. I knew i really cared for him. Then he broke it off. We kept in touch. and Then I started comparing men to him. I compared EVERY man i came into contact with him.. Even men i was dating. And so I finally desided to be single. This whole time trying to basically persuade my way back into this mans bed. not nessicarily his heart, but eventuall. well after a couple months of us chatting about having an affraid JAy called and we started talking for a couple days then he came over. He is with this girl, i dont' know her. well he says that he cares for her but he wants to mess around. He came by last night and i gave him oral. Then he left. I'm not sure what to do i'm not sure how i feel i want him i seriously crave this man. He purposed that he kept seeing the girl and us just do our thing. Should i be his mistress as he called it and let it unfold to se what happens and maybe i do get back into his heart or what.. PLEASE HELP ME
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2005
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 9:39pm
You want my opinion ? I understand you like this guy and everything .. and you really have feelings for him but it doesnt seem like he wants much from you except sex. am i right ? i mean if he is with this other girl but yet he is coming over to fool around with you and then just leaves .. thats wrong. I say dump the loser. I know its tough especially when you really like the person but this situation is only benefiting one person and its not you. you are just hurting yourself more by hooking up with him and talking to him and having him come over. let him do what he wants to do. dont call him. if he really wants you and your heart he will come back. but right now it just sounds like all he wants is a sack session once in a while. as for comparing all the guys you date with this one specific guy .. you have to learn that everyone is different. dont compare them because if you do that youre not going to find another guy and you never know .. one of those guys could be the one. im hoping this helps chickie. keep your head up. and seriously .. dump that loser .. hes nothing but a player it sounds like to me. good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 11:31pm

He's seeing someone else, but he wants sex with you? And you're willing? WHY? He's seeing someone else......which means he doesn't want to see you, he just wants to USE you.

So, he's a liar and a cheater. Just remember, if he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. You think that "sex" is going to make him want to be with you.....not in a million years. He's getting sex from the other one, AND from you.....he's using BOTH of you. What would serve him right is for BOTH of you to dump him, and let him take care of himself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 11:46pm

I'm with the others. I know that you care for this guy and really like him, but he's not returning those feelings. He doesn't care for you and he obviously doesn't REALLY like you if you are only good enough for sex. And even then, it's not loving sex, it's a quick release. He has about as much feelings for you as he does for his right hand. The one he uses to masturbate with.

As tough as it is going to be, I'd get rid of him. He's already dated you and he knows you well. If there was ever going to be a relationship with this guy again, it would have happened already. You will find that you are his mistress, getting nothing more from him, until Hell freezes over or until he finally dumps you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 7:31am
Sex is not going to win his heart over, he's with another girl and he's using you for

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 6:37pm
A mistress will rarely become a wife. And even if she does, she will have to look over her shoulder for the rest of her life! A man who will cheat on his wife or GF in this case, is not a man to be trusted.