What am I supposed to do up there?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2005
What am I supposed to do up there?
16
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 4:46pm

I am so lost when it comes to woman on top. I'm not looking for advice like "own it!" or "show him how much you want him!" because I have no problem with that. And it is in no way a body image thing, either.

I mean, in a really literal physical sense...I'm just not sure what other options there are to be had than thrusting up and down on a penis. I want to be a bit more versatile than that.

I think also that part of it is that I'm afraid I'm going to accidentally bend something in a harmful way, but that's not all.

If anyone has any input or any especially helpful websites (no porn sites, please) I would totally appreciate it. The more precise the detail, the better.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 4:24pm
in addition to what the 2 previous posters mentioned.. concider the fact that when you are grinding down on him you are getting a ton of friction on your clit!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 6:46pm

>> it may slip out, but unless you're dancing on top of him in stilettos or outweigh him by 200 lbs, the odds of anyone getting hurt are slim to none.<<

This is probably the only time that I'm ever going to disagree with you. I've screamed like a baby and walked funny for days after an incident when I slipped out during some fast and furious thrusting and the tip slid down 3/4 of an inch. Momentum and speed meant that we didn't have time to react as things DIDN'T go back together as they should have. Admittedly this was a rare situation but she wasn't wearing stilletos and doesn't outweigh me by 200lbs. It can happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 6:59pm

>>When I try to do it I can't because my anatomy does not allow it to move except up and down.<<

I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you can't move around.

Think of it this way: Forget about bobbing up and down. Sliding up and down feels good for him but it can be really awkward and tiring for you - so forget about it for now.

Slide right down on his penis so that it is right inside you and your pubic area is pressed against his. Your knees are on the mattress either side of his hips. Now make small circular movements with your hips so that your pubic area moves around in small circles around his penis. Just like (I think it was tish said) an exotic dancer or a belly dancer would wriggle their hips in little circles. It makes a little circular motion about two or three inches wide against his body. His penis will twist and move around inside you - like a spoon stirring a pot! Just remember, we're not talking about BIG circular motions. These are tiny firm circular motions where you are aiming to put pressure and friction against your clitoris.

Try a back and forth movement too. Again, make sure his penis is inside you and your pubic area and clitoris is pressed firmly against his body. Lean forward and support yourself with your hands on his shoulders or chest. Now tilt and drag your hips forward an inch or two so that your pubic area slides forward an inch or two. Relax and let your hips move back to the original position. Repeat. You're trying to rub your clitoris against his body - back and forth. Again his penis will move inside you.

Personally, Woman on top isn't my favourite postion - I get better sensations from other positions. But I do like it because it's all about her getting maximum stimulation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 11:55am
I think that moving side to side and well as slowly up and down on his penis works great! Let your partner massage and suck on your breasts. Find out what makes you feel good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2006
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 12:50pm
I agree with the grinding and back and forth. I can't move up and down, I just can't. And it usually ends up hurting. Now if I could get my BF to understand that he can't thrust while I'm noving, we'd be gold. He's a little big and boucnes off my cervix if he thrusts, he's getting the idea that when I say stop that means he can't move. But he loves it when I'm on top. It took a while to perfect how and when to move, but now I'm great at it (according to him).
Just relax take it slow at first if you're not sure what to do, and you'll figure it out, watch for his cues, and pay attention to your body, when it says slow down or stop, do it. When it says faster and harder, do it. My best O's have been on top.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2006
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 12:53pm
It's a belly dance kind of move for me. Just roll your hips back and forth, that's what works for me. Up and down never did, I don't think I have the coordination for that.

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