What can I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
What can I do?
4
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 4:50pm
I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months now and we have just recently begun to become sexually involved. I want to wait to have intercourse, however I am enjoying oral sex w/ him very much. The problem is that I can't make him climax when giving him oral sex. I feel bad b/c he has given me multiple orgasms and I want to give him one. I have never had this problem w/ other guys,so I know it's not my technique. He said that he had only climaxed one time EVER while getting oral sex!..Does anyone have any suggestions..I'm getting frustrated
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 4:57pm
Some men just cannot climax from oral, plain and simple. It is nothing you are doing nor is it anything they can control. Every man is different so what gets one guy off may not get another off regardless of how good it feels.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 11:38pm
You don't "give" men climaxes. You provide the stimulation to help them get there, but they're the ones who allow them to happen, or don't allow them to happen. It's exactly the same with women. He's not "giving" you orgasms....he's stimulating you, and you're allowing them to happen.

There are MANY guys who can't finish during oral sex. Why, who knows? Probably some childhood hang up about it being dirty and nasty! Also, this is a very new relationship, and maybe eventually he'll get comfortable enough with you to allow it to happen.

In the meantime, he's STILL enjoying what you're doing, and your frustration is only adding to his. Lighten up on him, let him enjoy, and when you're tired, quit. You can finish him by hand, or he can do it himself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 11:42am
Dear FC,

Others have said this, but I will repeat it: Some men just don't orgasm from oral...don't worry about it. Sex is not about how many orgasms the two of you have. It's not a competition. Enjoy the intimacy of what you are doing and know that whether he orgasms or not, he is enjoying your attentions.

Peace.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 3:03pm
After reading everyone's post I realize that I am putting too much emphasis on this and should just enjoy the intimacy part of it!...He says it feels wonderful and I guess that is all that matters.He told me that it is ok and that it doesn't change how he feels about me. I guess I feel like if it really felt that good he would be able to orgasm. From now on I'm not gonna worry about it. I've just never been in a relationship where the guy just enjoyed oral sex w/out having an orgasm. I guess in a way it's good that he isn't that concerned with it.......