What is considered kinky?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
What is considered kinky?
13
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 10:55pm

I have a question. When people say "kinky sex" what kind of sex is that referring to? Does it mean sex toys, or bondage?

Also, is oral considered kinky?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 11:27pm
I think peoples opinion on this differ. If you were to ask a very conservative person their definition of kinky and someone not so conservative I think you would get two totally different answers. I think most of the people on these boards are very open to things alot of people would consider kinky. I myself do not find oral sex kinky, I would say most people dont...Hubby and I love oral sex, it's included in our sessions 98% of the time. We also have a couple toys we use during sex. We've never gotten into bondage...but that doesn't mean down the road we won't. All I'm saying is kinky is different to different people.
Photobucket
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 2:14am

That is different for everyone. What I do, others might consider kinky, and some people might think it's very conservative.

What you consider kinky, other people would consider normal. Oral is a big part of most people's sex lives.....but there are some who think it's disgusting.

The bottom line is whatever two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home is considered "normal" for them......but others might consider it strange or kinky.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 5:38am
You won't find a single answer to what different people consider kinky. People's tastes and attitudes vary widely, and what one person considers extreme another might consider fairly tame. About a year ago there was a similar discussion over on the Taboos board about what was considered *vanilla* (basically the opposite of kinky)? The 3some/open relationship crowd weighed in that to them vanilla meant anything that just involved 2 people, while the BDSM players were of the opinion that vanilla was anything that was *just sex* and didn't involve any BDSM play. The 3some/open posters felt that the BDSM players were all vanilla (by their definition) if they were only practicing BDSM within their marriage (or relationship), while the BDSM crowd felt that the swingers were all having vanilla sex, since it was just sex no matter how many people they were engaging in it with.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 5:50am

Welcome to the board leafygreens.

I agree with the other posters -- kinky is based on individual preference and opinion. I don't consider oral sex to be kinky at all, but I'm sure those that think it's disgusting might.



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Connect With Me




Making a Second Marriage Work


my partner in the siggy exchange





iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 10:45pm
I think your right, what's kinky to one person is vanilla to another. And vice versa.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2006
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 3:57am
Which is why I really dislike all these categorical descriptions. I have come to loathe the weight of the word *vanilla* - I don't even like it as a flavouring. lol Too many people get worked up wether or not they are having some preconceived idea of what sex should be, and not defining what their own wants, needs or desires are.

I usually think that the things I do, if I'm doing them, are going to be fairly tame, yet by some people's definition, they'd be kinky, by others, as you just demonstrated, they'd be that other flavouring I don't want to mention (can we say *white bread*, instead?) but as long as my DH and I are good with what we are doing or planning on trying, that concerns the two of us.

All right, you know me, I'll correct that, as long as we are good with what I plan on having us try. lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 4:05am
LMBO at the correction! I wonder what the incidence is of the partner who posts on iVillage (male or female) being the primary expander of sexual boundaries in our relationships? I know that's certainly true of DW and me.

I'm afraid I can't share your dislike of the term *vanilla*, though. Like a lot of terms, it's contextual, and as long as everyone concerned is clear on the context then it works just fine. DW and I understand perfectly well, for example, what we mean when we talk about having vanilla sex as opposed to kinky sex.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 7:28am

I know that since I have been studying under Nenu, I've really improved my "take charge" skills (LOL)!

Actually, Steve, I think it is very likely that those of us that visit the boards on a regular basis are the ones that strive to increase the boundaries of our relationships as well.



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




my partner in the siggy exchange






iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 10:20am

ITA with 'that those of us that visit the boards on a regular basis are the ones that strive to increase the boundaries of our relationships' Misty. That is also part of the reason that I think the general idea of 'what is kinky?' wouldn't even be close on these boards as compared to the normal 'run of the mill' population. Just about everything we talk about on the more sexual boards would be considered kinky by a lot of people lol.

Personally I don't really like the word 'kinky' that much. Because there is definitely no hard and fast definition for it. Its all perception. To my mother and at least som of my friends I would be considered 'kinky' but to some of the people I have met here I am probably just 'vanilla' LOL!!

I prefer to Live and let Live as long as no one is getting hurt (oh, unless they want to! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 10:24am

I am glad you added this, "(oh, unless they want to! :)" ...

I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with the locals (LOL)!



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




my partner in the siggy exchange






Pages