what to do!?
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what to do!?
| Mon, 07-31-2006 - 12:54pm |
Hi everyone,
I have been in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend for two years. We have satisfying sex but I've never achieved orgasm with him. I use a vibrator and can quickly orgasm with it but never with my boyfriend or in fact with any guy. Does anyone have any advice on things I could do?
thanks!!
I have been in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend for two years. We have satisfying sex but I've never achieved orgasm with him. I use a vibrator and can quickly orgasm with it but never with my boyfriend or in fact with any guy. Does anyone have any advice on things I could do?
thanks!!

First, get rid of the vibrator! You've got yourself trained to respond to that....and no man is going to vibrate for you.
Second, learn to enjoy sex, ALL of it, and stop worrying about orgasms. Sex is about pleasure, not orgasms. If you learn to enjoy the pleasure, think of nothing BUT the pleasure, lose yourself in that pleasure, and allow yourself to LET GO......it can happen.
Are you expecting to have orgasms from intercourse alone? The majority of women need clitoral stimulation to have orgasms....he can do it, you can do it, or your position can do it DURING intercourse.....Many women have them during foreplay from oral or manual clitoral stimulation.....and then might have more during intercourse.
Making orgasms your "goal" is the best way to be sure you'll never have one. Make pleasure your goal......orgasms don't make sex good....but good sex will make orgasms happen.
Dakine and Caroline have good advice. I used to have similar problem, and got some Vigel at a sex store. Tried others, not so successful, and saw research on the net that said Vigel (assessment not done by them) was the best product for what it is intended to do. It is a clitoral stimulant. Works on bringing blood to the area, so it's easier to climax. What a difference for us, and no, my DH does not complain of any tongue burning or any problems afterwards (he's too busy holding me down on the bed!) Try this and you'll find you're far more sensitive in the clitoral region. Some nights, sure, if I'm stressed or tired, I'll still haul out 'old faithful', but you're a lot younger than me, so try learning to make love without vibrators for the most part.
Cassie
It's not always easy to become so vunerable with a partner and it will take time. But your mind has be willing, as well as your body. They must work together to achieve orgasm.
Whatever turns you on by yourself, erotica, fantasy, etc. can be brought into the bedroom and used WITH him. It just takes time to become comfortable with it. But use HIS finger as your own and move it where it needs to go. Once he gets the idea, he should be able to replicate what you do.