What to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
What to do?
26
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 5:52pm
What should I do? I am currently involved with a girl I do like alot and we have fooled around numerous times. I would like to give her oral sex and have tried once already but found that I can not stomach the taste. I tried as much as I could but actually dry heaved.....lol. Luckily it was quiet so she didnt notice. Its not like she's unhygeinic or anything. Is there any advise out there???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 6:42pm
Try getting her into the shower before you try oral sex next time. If nothing else you'll mentally know that she is fresh and clean. Don't dive on in. Start tentatively and gently with kisses and little licks around her vulva to give yourself time to get used to her and time to realise that she actually tastes and smells completely different than what you thought she did. Last time you heaved not because it was awful but because you dived in and got surprised by the taste and aroma. I doubt that she's really that bad if you take your time - you'd be surprised how much of this is a mental thing and you'll be surprised how easy it is if you ease on in rather than diving in! Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 7:03pm

Long time no talk flyguy...hopefully the replies can help ya. :)

More common situation you're experiencing than is actually reported out there, at least on whats considered female message boards anyway. On the male boards I've read involving this issue, there really was no quick fix magic advise for something like this. You feel how you feel and thats that.

One idea I read about was to help mask the natural taste with the gent sucking a heavy mint first. Another idea was to lube her with flavored lubes or something similar...they even have antibacterial for those that prefer it.

There are tons of flavors too, but I've read that the heavily minted ones are the way to go for those guys that aren't as tolerant of the taste. Believe it or not, I've read that the smell was more troublesome for guys in your unfortunate situation than the taste alone.

Just for the sake of lurkers who may be in similar situations, this IMHO is something to feel ashamed of or guilty about. We all have certain sense-triggers that trigger something we don't want at times, especially when we can't control it of course. For some, its taste...others, its smell...others its this or that. Many report trouble with swallowing because of the consistency, for example. Many report trouble with certain sex positions because of equilibrium issues. So on and so forth...

Let us know if you find something, some method or change, that has actually helped you with this, even if its a little. Someone reading may benefit from your info. Good luck!

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 7:08pm
Thanks, perhaps it should be a slower process. I usually take my time with other things but was unsure how to tackle this subject and did just "dive in". I did it at the best possible time I think, right out of the shower as you suggested but still had issues. I'm not sure exactly what to make of it really. She doesnt seem to devote alot of effort to scrubbing that area of her body like I thought she might. I dunno but maybe i'm just being crazy but I thought that would be a top priority to scrub down hard. She seems to just rinse it off and thats about it but she'll scrub down the rest of her body. Whats the deal with that? Why avoid it like that????? I wouldnt say she's "dirty" but I'm not sure if she's doing enough down there to keep it more oral friendly. I dont mind that there is hair, actually i prefer that 100% but shouldnt she kinda wash it up better than just rinsing? And at the same time I dont want to tell her anything about that because I dont want to be mean or perhaps i'm totally out of place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 10:23pm

>>I dunno but maybe i'm just being crazy but I thought that would be a top priority to scrub down hard.<<

:-) Ever tried to scrub down hard on the tip of your penis with a scrubbing brush?

>>She seems to just rinse it off and thats about it but she'll scrub down the rest of her body. Whats the deal with that? Why avoid it like that?<<

Seriously though, that area down there doesn't need a hard scrub. It's designed to be selfcleaning. Sure, you brush your teeth, but you never actually clean the insides of your mouth, do you? And that's good enough to kiss under most circumstances. You'd actually be surprised at how clean and hygenic her vagina is under normal circumstances. Do you consider your penis to be dirty or filthy?

One last thing, plenty of women have problems with soap and chemicals disrupting the normal pH and opertation of the vagina - so using plenty of soap is not a good idea.

I think that you should just take things a little more slowly and ease your way in towards her vulva, giving you time to adjust and take it all in. When it comes to oral sex, a slow start can actually be a good thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 11:30pm

No one washes the vagina, or at least they shouldn't. That's INSIDE, and you're correct, it's self cleaning, and unless there's an infection (and that is a possibility in this case) it's a very neutral odor and taste. It's what's outside, on and around the vulva that will develop an odor, and most likely a taste. It's comparable to the underarm...there are sweat glands in both places. When the sweat is exuded, it has no taste or odor, but when it comes in contact with the bacteria on the skin, the taste and odor are produced.

Flyguy is right, it takes a little more than a "splash" to get really clean. Unless she's ultra sensitive to strong soap, (and if she is, then she can use a more gentle soap)she should be soaping and applying some pressure in and around the labia and the clitoris.
Smegma can be produced and be under the hood of the clitoris, just as it would be under a man's foreskin.

Since you're making the analogy of "scrubbing" the head of the penis, you don't SCRUB it, but I'm sure you do more than splash some water on it, and any folds of skin in the area. If not, then you're going to have an odor, too.

To the OP, try taking the shower with her, and offer to wash her down, ALL OVER...and see if that helps. If it makes a difference, then you'll have to do it all the time, or you'll have to talk to her about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 11:40pm
I agree, its very much like the sweat glands. I have found that it can vary quite a bit in both taste and scent. If its been a long time since she showered, you will likely know it. For me, the ideal scenario, is that she has washed within the last couple of hours, then you first tease/arouse her until she is good and wet, then try it again. Another tip....have a drink or two first if you are into that sort of thing...
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 1:23am

Many people have complained about the taste of the genitals of their partners. Women have also complained about this problem. But since hormones control the taste of our secretions, etc. it's not likely that your partner's will always be so strong or unpleasant. Maybe the time you tried oral, she was ovulating or close to her period when her hormones were high. Try again, you might be surprised.

However, some people just have stronger body odor...all over.

So...you may have to do what many women have to do...keep a drink on the nightstand to sip, use mints or other candies to mask the taste or in her case, used flavored lubes, and stay away from her vagina and concentrate all your efforts on her clitoris and labia. More fun for her that way anyway.




Edited 10/30/2005 1:33 am ET by katmandoo2001
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 1:28am

Thanks for that timely reminder to guys, West, and therein may lie his problem....perception!

Our clitoris has twice the nerve endings of the head of a penis so it's VERY sensitive down there! Much too sensitive for scrubbing down real hard, for sure! And using a very mild, unfragranced soap before rinsing is always best. Too much of anything throws off a delicate PH balance.




Edited 10/30/2005 1:30 am ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 8:54am

My boyfriend has had the same problem, and he's found that going down on me after the shower really helps. I have to confess that I don't really scrub down there so I'm wondering why it makes a difference with me and not with your girlfriend. Two things come to mind. First of all, I usually take baths and not showers so maybe that helps rinse it out better. The other thing is that when I do take showers, I take them with him and he likes to rub the soap all over my body, and he may rub it down there as well, I can't remember. And I can't remember if he's said it's easier after showering with me, or after I took a bath by myself, or both. But you might want to try asking your girlfriend if you can scrub her, then you could do her whole body and devote extra time to that area and she'll think you're just doing it because you like playing with that area.

The other thing is that you just have to get used to the taste. My boyfriend says it got a lot easier after he went down on me several times, and each time, he was never down there for more than a few seconds. But I guess that after being exposed to the taste several times, he was able to acquire more of a taste for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 10:31am

Your last paragraph gives great insight, rosewater.

I think for many out there, it really is a matter of getting accustomed to it over time and repeated attempts (lack of better term). Doesn't work for everyone, but it does work for many anyway.

 

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