What to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
What to do?
26
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 5:52pm
What should I do? I am currently involved with a girl I do like alot and we have fooled around numerous times. I would like to give her oral sex and have tried once already but found that I can not stomach the taste. I tried as much as I could but actually dry heaved.....lol. Luckily it was quiet so she didnt notice. Its not like she's unhygeinic or anything. Is there any advise out there???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 1:10pm
I have the opposite problem I gag and dry heave if my husband trys to cum in my mouth I can say I have been with my husband for over nine years and have never fully done it. I dont give up I keep trying different things and we are getting closer to the happy ending.....as with a girl I agree a 100% it burns like a bitch if you use soap inside of a girls vagina and it is not good for her see if she uses douche That doesnt burn and it cleans you out. it is made for that area. tell her dont do it to often to much of it is not a good thing. It also has alot to do with the fact that you have already had a bad expierence and are paronoid that it will be bad again. It took my a while to get over the fear and yes I mean fear . My husband actually started playing with me took my hands put them in my vagina and made me lick them . It turned him on and it relaxes him b/c I am getting into it more Try that with her you never know it may work. Maybe doing other things may distract you from worrying about the taste let me know how it goes
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 3:05pm
I am not suggesting soap be used inside her, just moreso on the exterior area (more than just rinse).
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
In reply to: flyguy2004
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 3:22pm
Thats fine She should be doing that anyway when she takes a shower. I thought you were saying b/c you didnt like the taste . You have to remember the taste and the smell come from inside her not the outside . Thats why I suggested the douche. I use Zest Body wash and a puff and scrubb away. . It smells good and it makes me full ultra clean. I dont know how long you have been dating but what you can try is suggest taking a shower together and you clean her then try oral sex while in the shower b/c if you still have the problem then maybe that is something you are not ready for. Question for you if you donmt mind answering Has she ever given you oral sex? Did she have a problem. You also sound like this might be a new expierence for you. Let me tell you the only person I have ever been with in my 30 yrs is my husband and it took me awhile to get comfortable with oral sex. Like I said prior I am still working up to the full happy ending
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
In reply to: flyguy2004
Mon, 11-07-2005 - 12:41am
no, havent gotten oral in return. yeah, i'm new to it..lol
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: flyguy2004
Mon, 11-07-2005 - 2:09pm

First, you're going to have to work at changing your perception of her genitals. Somewhere, at some time, you apparently heard something that made you think that a normal female scent meant that a woman's genitals were unclean. Not so, they aren't supposed to smell like powder, roses or even nothing. They're supposed to smell like they smell.

We ALL, men included, have our own unique scent. Sometimes, that scent is stronger than others. Just soaping up more isn't going to change her natural scent though.

Yes, taking a shower prior to oral sex WILL reassure you that she is truly clean, but the rest is up to you. Change your perception and change your experience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
In reply to: flyguy2004
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 10:24pm

It is not a good thing for a woman to use scented soaps in that area and all she has to do is make sure she rinses herself thoroughly. Doucing is something that I have heard can lead to problems because of the way it affects the natural bacteria in the vagina and is not something that should be done on too regular an occassion and can result in causing infection.

Just as with a man, if you have not bathed or showered all day the odour is going to be stronger. At the same time, a woman just as a man should ensure that they rinse themselves properly and there is no need for scented soaps whatsoever. Odour only develops when bodily fluid comes into contact with air. We all have a different scent to our bodies, some stronger than others. A woman's scent is stronger at certain times of the month. Please forgive me for being blunt everyone sweats, secretes bodily fluid. It is only when this sweat is aloud to stagnate on the skin and comes into contact with air that it causes an unpleasant odour and it applies just the same in the genital area.

There have been times when a partner has wanted to have oral sex with me, for instance when I have been at work all day, that it has been something I have wanted to avoid in case the odour would be unpleasant. I much prefer it and feel more comfortable receiving oral sex when I have just bathed or shortly afterwards.

One other thing, what you eat can also depend on how you smell and taste. If you eat a lot of spicy food it can make the taste somewhat unpleasant. However, if you eat sweet things it can taste more pleasant. I say this with confidence because of experience. There have been times when I have found my partners taste unpleasant and if I let him come in my mouth I thought I might wretch, whereas, at other times when he had not eaten spicy food but had eaten biscuits or chocolate it made a lot of differedce to the way he tasted.

From what you have said it is all a very new experience for you. Take your time because there is no need to dive straight in there. If it is something that you have never done before then it might just be that it is a smell/taste that you have not had before and and at least try it again and make having a shower together all part of what happens, and whilst showering play with her, with the water continually coursing over the two of you, you will not need to scrub or even soap her up too much and the water will be enough to rinse her clean without her even having any idea what you are doing. Use your fingers to play around the cliterous and up and down the labia as though you are exploring her and be gentle because believe me there is no need for hard scrubbing. Just as with men there is no need for hard scrubbing and it is just a case of making sure that you are not only clean on the outer regions but ensure that you are clean under the foreskin as well. Believe me, I have had the experience of going down on a man and him smelling fresh and clean only to find that when his foreskin has been pulled back the most unpleasant odour has offended my sense of smell.

Having said all of that, there are some men that love oral sex and there are some that don't. I enjoy receiving oral sex and for that matter giving it as well. However, there have been times when it has been something that a man has not been comfortable with and if that has been the case it has not been the end of the world because the last thing I would want is for anyone to do something they did not enjoy doing. There are plenty of other things that can be enjoyed just as much.

Sorry if I have waffled on.

A woman can smell differently depending on the time of the month, for instance when she is ovulating and when she is on a period.

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